It will never be over
by Chanel5
Summary: Jo left a devastated Alex almost 4 years ago, now she is back. Will he be able to forgive her? Will her reason for Leaving be accepted?
1. Shock

**A/N: Okay so I have abandoned my story Teach me how to Trust because basically I couldn't see it going anywhere. I have had time to think and map out a whole new story which I am much happier with. I hope you will like it!**

**Chapter 1 Shock**

Alex looked down at his pager. _ER Now _That was the second time it had come through in the last five minutes. _Damn it I'm on my way!_ Alex thought to himself. He was not the only Ped's doctor rostered on tonight.

"Dr Karev, the patient's mother over in bed 5 has refused to let anyone see her son other than you." A nurse informed him when he arrived in the ER.

"Who is the patient? Have they been admitted before?" Alex asked.

"Not that I am aware of. Patient is a 3 year old boy, Thomas Wilson, suffers from severe asthma and is settled now with some steroids and an oxygen mask. However he has had a few attacks since being here. His mother is a little frantic."

"Thanks." Alex said as he took the file off the nurse.

Alex made his way over to bed 5 and pulled the curtain around. Time stood still. He couldn't move, his head was racing with a million thoughts. She stood up, saying nothing, but her eyes told him everything.

_**3 years 9 months ago**_

"_Jesus Jo are you trying to kill me?" Alex panted._

"_I thought you liked it when I did that with my tongue?" Jo asked innocently whilst looking up at him from her kneeling position._

"_You know I do, it's just you stop when I don't want you to stop." He said gritting his teeth._

"_Oh I'm sorry I didn't realise." Again Jo said this so sweet and innocently._

_Alex moved quickly and pulled Jo up and on top of him in one quick movement. It wasn't long and Alex had rolled Jo over and it was her turn to be at his mercy. Not that either of them wanted to hold out any longer. Both of them had a deep want, need and desire for each other. After Alex teased and tortured Jo just long enough he was deep inside her, the place he loved to be more than anywhere else in the world._

_As both of their orgasms transported them to other times and places they felt at total peace. Something both of them were just getting used to. They had been together for almost a year and it had been just about perfect. For both of them._

_The next day Alex left for work and Jo left Alex for good. She packed her things into one suitcase, and left a note two lousy words that would haunt Alex for years to come. "I'm sorry."_

Alex still looked at Jo, and then his eyes turned to the little boy in the bed. No denying he belonged to Jo, he had her dark wavy hair, he had her history of asthma, he had her colouring. He just stood staring, he knew he had to move, he knew he had to treat this little boy, he was so angry with this kids mother for leaving him, loving him and then disappearing with a "I'm sorry" note. But that wasn't the kid's fault the kid needed to be treated. Yet still he couldn't stop the millions of questions that he had rolling around his head.

"Alex please...I know I have so much to explain and I...I am sorry..." Jo started.

"Forget it. Not now." He snapped.

"Hi Thomas, can you sit forward for me please?" Alex asked.

Thomas obeyed; he had been admitted to his mother's ER on so many occasions now he knew what to do. He sat forward because he knew this "Clever Doctor" as his mommy had kept telling him he was, would want to listen to his back.

"You've done this before haven't you? Good job." Alex said as he lifted Thomas's Pajamer top up and listened to the noises from his back.

Alex took Thomas's oxygen mask off and asked him some questions.

"How long have you had asthma?"

"Long time." Was the simple reply.

"He suffered croup as a baby which developed into asthma when he was two. We have tried just about everything." Jo added.

Alex nodded. He still couldn't breathe properly himself. Jo left, with no explanation no anything. She just left the day after they had spent the entire night before alternating between fucking with intense need and desire and making love with passion and gentleness. It still confused the fuck out of him. He had long since stoped torturing himself about it. It was pointless, he would never get the answers he deserved or needed to ever move on properly.

Just as Alex was about to write out a prescription for some more steroids, Thomas had another attack. He couldn't breathe and he was gasping for air. Alex's instinct for something he had never felt before kicked in. He grabbed the nearest blanket, wrapped Thomas in it and picked him up and jogged with him in his arms to the entrance of the hospital.

"What are you doing?" Jo cried chasing after them.

Alex said nothing; right now all he could do was think about getting Thomas outside, he had read a new paper on treatment of asthmatics. He had to try it.

"Alex please," Jo said as she faltered. Her panic whilst still there, was somewhat abated she trusted Alex, she always had. Wasn't that why she brought Thomas here in the first place?

Alex reached the front doors of the hospital and sat Thomas on his lap, rubbing his back, offering comforting words.

"That's it breathe in and out. Come on mate you can do it."

Within Fifteen minutes, Thomas was breathing normally again. Jo stood watching in awe, tears beginning to form in her eyes. She quickly brushed them away. This was a sight she was not prepared for. The sight of her baby boy being held by the man she loved more than she could ever admit to herself let alone out loud.

Jo approached the two people who meant the most in the world to her and sat next to them.

"Alex I don't understand."

"It's a new theory, a study has been done on one to five year olds who suffer croup and asthma, apparently if you take them into the cold air, it shocks their system. They can start breathing normally again. I thought it was worth a try."

"Thank you." Jo said quietly.

Jo was surprised; Thomas had lived a sheltered life and had only been left with hospital day care staff. He never went to other people especially if his mother was sitting next to him but Thomas was content to cuddle into Alex. He had his little head under Alex's chin, and was turned into him. Thomas has his little arm around Alex's neck, while Alex held him close and rubbed his back.

Thomas was exhausted and was quickly falling into a deep sleep wrapped in the arms of a stranger.

It was in this moment that Jo knew, she really knew, how much she had fucked up not just for herself, but for Thomas and for Alex, how wrong she had been, how unbelievably cruel she had been. It almost felt like she was intruding on a special bonding moment, watching them together.

"Alex...I have so much I need to explain to you."

"Yeah you do, but not right now, because right now I am taking our son up to the Ped's ward and admitting him for the night. You are going to get some sleep, because you look like crap and are totally exhausted. It's my turn Jo. It's my turn to be there for him."

"How...How did you know?"

"I didn't really, I've done a quick calculation of the dates but looking at his eyes, they are mine, and earlier when he smiled, it's the same lope sided smile I have. But it was more than that, I can't explain, maybe it's just an instinct. I just know that he is mine."

Jo hung her head. She was so ashamed; she had so much explaining to do. All she could hope for was that Alex would give her a chance to explain.

**A/N: So that was chapter 1. Hope you liked it and would love your feed back.**


	2. Gentle Approach

**A/N: I can't that everyone enough for the positive feedback I have received for this story. I special thanks to my good friend Jamie who helps me with my "Americanisims" if that is a word. lol**

**I have plenty of twists and turns planned for this story so I hope you all stick around for it!**

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**Chapter 2 – Gentle Approach**

Alex fast tracked the paperwork and admitted Thomas for the night. Jo followed and she could see that her son was being taken care of by his father. _Thomas' father_. God that sounded so surreal to her ears. Jo sensed how easily Alex transferred his demeanor from doctor to carer. It wouldn't be hard for him to slip into being a father. She knew that. She had always known that.

"Mommy is just going to be down the hall, okay? You be a good boy and get some sleep please." Jo said as she kissed and hugged Thomas.

Jo's whole body relaxed and Alex had a nurse show her to an on call room for some sleep.

Thomas slipped into bed and even though the oxygen was on standby, he was breathing normally. Alex pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed. He put his hand over Thomas' and sighed, a million thoughts running through his head.

"Can I have a d'ink please?" Thomas asked in a quiet, polite voice.

"Of course, let me buzz for a nurse to bring you in some water." Alex replied.

"Can I have juice? Mommy always lets me have juice when I have been in hos-i-tal."

"Yeah sure, juice it is." Alex said smiling at Thomas' pronunciation.

A nurse appeared shortly after hearing the buzzer and walked into the room.

"Dr Karev, what is it?" The nurse said sounding concerned. You never saw Dr Karev just sitting bedside, no alarms going off, no CPR being performed. He was just sitting there calmly holding the little boy's hand.

"Can you please bring in some juice?"

The nurse gave him an odd look as if to say _do I look like kitchen staff_? She knew better than to question the Head of Paediatrics so she nodded her head and went in search of juice.

"Where is my mommy?"

"I sent her off to get some sleep. She is very tired. Is it okay if I stay with you instead?"

"But my mommy always stays with me."

"I know she does, but mom needs some sleep, and so do you little man."

Thomas seemed to think this over as the nurse brought in a few different juice boxes. He took the apple one straight away.

"Apple is my fa-o-rite." Thomas clarified for Alex. Alex smiled at him. Apple was Alex's favourite flavoured juice too. After a big drink, Thomas asked "What's your name?"

"Um well you can call me Alex." He thought this would be safe.

"Dock-or Alex. Not Alex." Thomas said giggling a little bit. "You have to be called Dock-or. My mommy is Dock-or Jo. I'm not 'llowed to say that." Thomas said again with a giggle.

This made Alex smile. He had instantly fallen in love with this little boy. His son. Those two words just kept going around and around in his head. His Son. It was just so unbelievable.

Jo would be strict with rules; he knew that, just as he knew as pissed off as he was, he knew she was a great mother. His son Thomas was smart and polite. That was all Jo.

"Come on little man, how about you lay down and get some sleep and I will be right here if you need anything."

"Okay Dock-or Alex." Thomas said as he slid further into the bed and hugged his old Teddy Bear that looked to have seen better days, but obviously meant a lot to him.

Alex squeezed Thomas' hand and turned the overhead light off so they could get some sleep.

Thomas drifted off to sleep pretty easily but Alex, even though he should have been finished work hours ago, was wide awake. He couldn't stop staring at Thomas. _How could Jo do this to me? How could she keep him from me? Did she really think I would be a screw up as a father?_

Hours seemed to pass and Thomas didn't stir and Alex didn't take his eyes off him. He kept thinking about all the things he had missed. All the memories Jo had stolen from him. Alex was lost in thought when the nurse walked in as was protocol to do the patients observations.

"What are you doing?" Alex said getting up from his chair.

"Um my job." The nurse replied sarcastically, turning the light on and walking over to the sleeping child.

"Leave it! I am here and quite capable of making sure his temperature, blood pressure and oxygen levels are fine. He has had a rough night and needs his sleep more than anything else right now." Alex exploded.

Thomas woke with a frightened look on his face. His bottom lip began to quiver and tears began to form in his eyes.

"Now look what you've done. Go!" Alex yelled pointing to the door for the nurse to leave.

At hearing Alex yell again, Thomas began to really cry asking for his mother over and over again.

_Fuck! I can't even care for him for one night without him wanting Jo._

Alex did not want Thomas to start to gasp for air again so he sent the nurse to wake Jo and bring her to be with her child.

Jo came running into the room; her eyes were wild with worry.

"What is it? What's happened?" Jo said her eyes darting from Thomas to Alex.

"Dock-or Alex yelling at lady." Thomas said through tears.

"Its okay honey, come here." Jo soothed as she got into bed with him and pulled him into a hug.

Jo knew Alex, probably better than he knew himself. Every single fibre of his being would now be on alert to protect his child at all costs. That would mean biting anyone's head off who dared to enter the room and wake the resting child. It was just another reason Jo had never stopped loving him, and she knew she never would.

Alex stood by watching feeling helpless. He now expected a tongue lashing from Jo. He expected that he had proved her right that he was a shit father, who yelled and couldn't control his temper.

"Well Doctor Alex doesn't mean to yell. I am sure he was just a little bit upset because he didn't want anyone to wake you."

"I don't like yelling."

"I know honey but, sometimes adults have to yell. Doctor Alex was just doing that because he is looking after you and didn't want the nurse to disturb you."

"Okay." Thomas said quite happy with his mother's explanation.

Alex was amazed Jo defended him. He stood there a little awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He was waiting on Jo's cue as to what to do next.

"Um Thomas, why have you got all of these juice boxes here?" Jo said sternly with her hands on her hips.

"Dock-or Alex said I could."

"I'm sure he did after you asked for all of them, telling him I said it would be okay. What have I told you about too much juice?"

"It will rot teeth." Thomas mumbled.

"Yes, it will rot your teeth. One juice the rest water okay."

"Sorry mommy" Thomas mumbled, reasonably chastised. Jo pulled the blankets up, gave him a kiss, and walked out.

Alex followed her out of the room. Despite everything that had happened, Alex was smiling. It was a genuine smile, a warm and content smile that he hadn't felt in a really long time.

"Our son just played me, didn't he?" Alex laughed.

"Afraid so. He tries it any chance he can. If I let him, he would drink apple juice all day long and have rotten teeth. Did you know there is so much sugar in fruit juice that it rots baby teeth."

"Well obviously I should know that but clearly don't. Sorry."

"Alex you have nothing to be sorry for. It's me; I am the one who is sorry. I am the one who has so much explaining to do."

At hearing that, Alex stiffened. He wasn't ready to hear it. He had had enough of a shock for one night. There was so much to talk about. But it all came back to the one thing for him. Jo had left him. She left him with so much hurt and pain, which even four years later he still wasn't over. He wasn't over her, and he had long realised he never would be. If that wasn't bad enough, she had done the unthinkable. She had kept his child from him.

"Not now, I better get back in there. You go and get some sleep. I will send for you if anything happens."

Jo could feel Alex pull away. She expected it. Fuck, she deserved it. She had her shit together now. She just needed Alex to give her a chance to explain. She wasn't expecting him to ever love her again. That would be asking for too much. But she knew, without question, that he already loved their son. Jo would settle for that.

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**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and please review**


	3. Panic

**A/N: I can't thank you enough for the kindness you have given e in your kind reviews. As also thanks to Jamie who edits and gives me some ideas.**

**Please enjoy**

**Chapter 3 –Panic**

Alex knew he was running out of time. Whilst Thomas had two more asthma attacks he was now in the clear and taking his Ventalin without incident. Alex really was at a loss as to how much longer he could keep him admitted. _Just one more day maybe two._

"Hey Dr Karev?" A new male intern asked.

"What?" Alex replied without looking up from his chart.

"Thomas Wilson, is he on some special diet or something?"

This caught Alex's attention. Over the years he had learned to show little or no emotion, this was one such occasion and he was not going to allow anyone see the slightest of weaknesses on his behalf.

"Not as far as I'm aware. Why?" Alex asked looking up from his chart.

"Oh it's just that his mother won't let him eat anything that she doesn't bring in herself."

Alex tried to hide the small smile that formed on his lips. After the whole juice episode of course Jo would only bring in home cooked food or some such organic shit for Thomas to eat. Alex had already been given the chat about how much refined sugar can stunt a child's brain development.

"Maybe she is just a good mom." Alex supplied.

"Who?" Another male intern asked.

"Thomas Wilson's mother." The other intern answered.

"Oh yeah, haven't seen the father around. Hot single mom. Nice."

"Hell yeah, wouldn't mind tapping that." The first male intern added.

"What did you just say? Alex said in a low angry voice.

"Um sorry Dr Karev that wasn't professional." Intern one stuttered.

"That's it, both of you go back to and see Dr Edwards your Chief Resident, because you don't belong in Ped's." Alex yelled.

"Sorry it won't happen again."

"That's right it won't because neither of you will work in my Department again. In Paediatrics we have two patients, the kids and their parents. Obviously you have no respect for Thomas or his mother so get the Hell out of my Department."

The two interns just stood still staring blankly at the Head of Paediatrics what had just happened in the past thirty seconds to make him react like that.

"NOW." Alex roared one more time.

Alex didn't know what pissed him off more the 'no father around' comment or "hot single mom' comment. It was probably the "wouldn't mind tapping that" that really did it for him. All three hurt. Whichever it was he had sent another two interns packing. Stephanie would be pissed with him again. _Oh well same shit different day_ Alex thought to himself.

"Good Morning Alex." Arizona said in her usual chirpy happy voice.

Alex just glared at her.

"Good morning Arizona it's nice to see you too. Beautiful day isn't it." Arizona said sarcastically.

"Sorry. I'm in a bad mood. What brings you here? I didn't page you."

"I know, I thought I might see if maybe you would like to take a few days leave and I could fill in for you."

"And why would I want a few days leave?' Alex asked.

"No reason just thought you might have some things you need to do, people to talk to, that kinda thing."

"Mer sent you didn't she?"

"Yes but only because she is worried. And the scared look on those two interns' faces just now reminds me of the angry Alex I knew when we first met."

"Fuck. I'm sorry. Have I been that bad?"

The silence Arizona provided was answer enough.

"Okay. I'll do better, but I don't want any leave. I need to stay here."

"Well okay but seriously Alex if you can't handle all of what is happening, you need to take some time, sort it out, fix it and then come back to work."

"I know. I know I do. It's just I'm so freakin angry with her. And at the same time I'm so fucking scared she is gonna run and take him from me."

"Well Alex if you don't give her a chance to talk that is exactly what will happen. If you keep biting everyone's head off Jo will take Thomas and leave, and who would blame her. If you want him in your life you have got to get a grip on that temper of yours."

"Your right, I know you are. I have to do it soon."

"Yeah, because you know he is well enough to go home. We need the beds Alex. You can't keep making up excuses for him to keep staying another night. Jo isn't stupid, or did you forget that she is a Doctor too?" Arizona smiled, touched him on his arm and left to go back to her office.

Alex stood by Thomas' window he could see Jo was sitting on the bed with him while they were playing with some blocks. The smile on both of their face's warmed Alex's heart like he had never experienced before. He had loved Jo so much, more than he thought it was possible to love, but the dynamic of a son thrown in just has taken that love to a whole different place. He can't lose them, he won't. He needs to go into his office, sit down and think about what he is going to say. God knows Jo has tried so many times to tell him, explain and he had shut her down. Nothing she can say will ease the pain he has felt for the past four years but then again it can't make it any worse. His biggest fear is that Jo left because she was pregnant and that she thought he would make a shit father.

Alex caught sight of Jo walking towards the elevators and quickly went to see her. _It's now or never _

"Jo, where are you going?"

"To get a cup of coffee." She replied.

"Oh, well when you come back I wanted to talk to you about Thomas staying another night."

"What? You have been saying that for the past three nights. He is fine. He has had enough of this place, and quite frankly so have I. What Tommy needs is his own bed, without all of these Dr's and nurses around."

"You call him Tommy?" Alex said with a genuine smile.

"That's what you took from what I just said? Jesus Alex."

"Sorry it's just it suits him."

Jo's face softened. Alex could be the biggest pain in the ass, but when he did things like that her insides turned to mush and all she wanted was for him to hold her. To feel his strong arms around her.

"I still want to take him home today. I'm a Doctor too you know and I know what I'm doing, he needs to go home and feel safe in his own surroundings." Jo said as she began to walk away closer to the elevators.

"JO!" Alex said and grabbed her on the wrist."

"OWE. What the hell Alex don't ever touch me like that. You know better." She spun around at the force of him turning her around from walking away from him.

"Fuck Jo, I am so so sorry, I didn't mean it. I didn't, I wasn't thinking. Please I'm just scared as shit that you are going to take him away and I will never see him again. _Or you._"

"Alex we are not discussing this in the hallway." Jo said whilst rubbing her wrist.

"No you're right, come into my office please. I promise I won't touch you and try my damndest not to raise my voice.

They both walked silently into Alex's office and he asked one of the nurses to get two cups of coffee and bring them in.

"Love what you've done with the place." Jo said sarcastically. She remembered when this office belonged to Dr Robbins and how pretty it was now it looked like a bomb site.

"Yeah well I tend not to let people in here." He supplied a little embarrassed.

"So let's get it over with." Jo said.

"Jo I have no right to keep Thomas in any longer. I know he is well enough to go home. But I don't know where home is? It could be anywhere."

"Did you even look at his chart?"

"What?"

"His chart Alex. All patients' charts have their address on them, correct?"

"Um yeah." Alex replied quietly feeling really stupid now.

"Well have a look at the address."

Alex went to his computer and called up Thomas's patient records.

"Seattle. You live in Seattle."

"Yes. We moved back three weeks ago. The first week I spent setting up our new apartment, the second week I started my new job at an out patients clinic and trying to get up the nerve to come and see you. The third week, I brought him in here."

"So you were always going to let me meet him."

"Of course Alex. I have fucked up royally I know that. My head was in a bad place back then I had so much going on. It's not an excuse. It's just how I dealt with it. But I want you in our son's life if that's what you want."

"Of course it is. What does he know about me or his father?"

"Not much. Just that his daddy is a Doctor that looks after sick babies and kids and is a really kind man. He just lives far away but just for a little while."

"Thank you. Now I have your address you can take him home today." He said smiling.

"Geeze thanks. Maybe tomorrow night you could come over for dinner."

"Really?"

"Sure. I have deprived you of Tommy for far too long, you need to get to know him outside of here before we tell him the truth."

"Can I call him Tommy? Or is that just a mom thing?"

"No you can call him that. He will love it. He has already taken to you. He isn't usually so friendly with people he doesn't know."

"Thank you Jo."

"It's the least I can do. Maybe when you are ready you might let me explain why I did what I did. I don't expect you to forgive me. But it's important that you know."

"Okay. Let's get Tommy's discharge papers ready." Alex said smiling with total relief he wasn't going to lose his son. _Or Jo._

**_A/N I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave me a review just so I know if I am on the right track._**


	4. Nerves

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you so much for the overwhelming response I have had to this story. A special thanks to my friend Jamie for correcting my errors. Also a big thanks to Kasiekk26 and SWCHika who have been sending me lots of encouraging PM's so thanks for that it inspires me to keep writing.**

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**Chapter 4 – Nerves**

Alex pounded on the Shepherd's front door at 6.00am. He was going to Jo's for dinner that night and was in a slight panic.

"Karev, you do know it's 6.00am." Derek said sleepily.

"Yeah, yeah is Mer here I really need to speak to her." Alex said letting himself in.

"Sure come on in. Nothing has really changed from the Frat house you guys had 10 years ago." Derek mumbled to himself as Alex walked straight past Derek.

"Alex what is it?" Meredith asked quite concerned.

"What was Bailey into a year ago?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know toy wise."

"Oh, well pretty much the same as now, dinosaurs, cars, Lego. Oh, and he did have a big fad for a while on the movie Shrek whatever number they are up too. You want to buy Thomas a present?"

"Yeah and I want to get it right. I don't want to give him something half assed that he won't like, or worse still he isn't interested in."

Derek stood in the kitchen, making Zola's lunch for school, totally amazed at the short hand in which Alex, Christina, and his wife communicated. They knew each other so well it never ceased to amaze him.

"You could ask Jo?

"No! That would show her that I know nothing. She already thinks that."

"But Alex you don't know him." Meredith said as kindly as she could.

"I know Mer, but I just don't want to look like an idiot."

"You won't. Let's just think about this. We can work it out. You can never go wrong with Play Doh. All kids love that." Meredith said, touching Alex lightly on the arm.

Derek, still making sandwiches for Zola's lunch asks "Karev you are the Head of Ped's? Right? Doesn't that mean that you should know the kind of things three year olds like?"

"Derek keep out of it." Meredith chastised.

"No Mer, he is right. I should know, but I am too busy these days to get to know the kids like I used too. I spend far too much time just treating them and not getting to know 'em."

"Don't beat yourself up. Whatever you pick will be great." Meredith said always cheering him on from the sidelines.

"Okay thanks Mer. Sorry to bother you so early see you later." Alex said as he turned to leave.

"I want details later." Meredith called after him as he just waved his hand in the air and walked out.

Now Alex had to drive home before going to the mall when it opened. He was going into work late and leaving early today. He had taken Arizona up on her offer of a part day off so he could calm himself down before tonight. Tonight was going to be the beginning of his relationship with his son. He desperately wanted it to go well. Perhaps tonight was also the time to give Jo the chance to explain. He couldn't avoid it forever, as painful as he knew it would be reliving all of those details.

Alex walked around Toys R Us for what felt like hours. He would pick something up and then put it back, then pick it up again. Each time a sales assistant offered help he said he was fine "Just looking." Alex had never felt so useless in all his life. _How fucking hard can this be!_

In the end he chose a dinosaur soft toy, some Play Doh, and a series of children's books. The one thing he did know was that Jo read Thomas a story every night_. If only all kids were so lucky._

Jo had finished work early, picked Thomas up from day care, and was currently deciding on what to cook for dinner. She knew Alex's favourite food was Lasagne and salad. Both she and Thomas liked that too so Jo felt it was an easy dish to make that would work. God she was nervous. Jo had never been a religious person of any type but whoever was up there watching over them she prayed that tonight would go well.

6.00pm on the dot, the door bell rang. Both Alex and Jo had butterflies in their stomachs but Jo slapped on a happy face and smoothed down her hair before opening the door.

"Hi" Jo said lightly. Alex's sexy masculinity never lost its effect on her but she had to squash that down. Tonight was all about Alex getting to know Thomas.

"Hi" He replied. _Damn her for still being so beautiful._

"Please come in."

Alex walked inside and noticed the small but nicely decorated apartment. He then saw Thomas sitting on the floor with his colouring in book, having not yet quite learnt how to hold the pencils. Thomas looked up and a big smile appeared on his face.

" Dock-or Alex." Thomas said as he got up and ran over to him and threw his arms around his waist.

"Hi Thomas. How ya feelin'?" Alex asked as he picked Thomas up and returned his hug.

"Good, thanksss."

"I have something here for you, I hope you like it." Alex said as he handed the presents he had bought earlier in the day.

"Oh cool thanksss." Thomas said taking the gifts off him and ripping the paper.

Jo offered Alex a drink and went into the kitchen and let the two males in her life hang out together.

"I love dinosaurs Dock-or Alex."

"Hey how about you just call me Alex. Your mommy and I are friends and I will probably visit you again so you don't need to call me Doctor."

"Mmm okay."

"So you love dinosaurs, huh?

"Yep I love all an-mals. I want be a an-mal Dock-or when I grow up."

"Is that right? You want to be a vet."

"Yep. I want a dog but I'm not allowed cos of my ass-ma."

"Well hopefully you will grow out of that when you get older and you might be able to get a dog then." Alex said reasonably.

Jo left them alone as long as she could before dinner was ready. It amazed her how easily Thomas had taken to Alex. He was a relative shy kid but for some reason he was comfortable with Alex. Just like religion, Jo wasn't a big believer but maybe Tommy knew that Alex was different from other men he had met. Maybe he knew Alex was special and that he would never hurt him.

Alex had scooped Thomas up into his arms and took him into the kitchen so they could have dinner. Tommy still liked to sit in his high chair so he was at the same eye level as his mother. Alex easily put him into it and then the three of them sat down and had their first meal together as a family. _She remembered my favourite meal._ Then he looked over at Thomas and watched as he shovelled his lasagne in his mouth. Alex was trying hard not to laugh. _He certainly gets that from me!_

"Slow down baby, it isn't going anywhere." Jo said to Thomas.

"I love 'sa-na." Thomas said to clarify things for Alex.

"Me too, Tommy, and I know your mom makes the best lasagne."

Jo smiled at the compliment as the three of them feel into easy conversation.

After dinner, Jo asked Alex if he would like to give Tommy a bath while she cleaned up. To say he was surprised was an understatement.

"Are...Are you sure?"

"If you can't trust a Paediatric surgeon to bathe a kid, who can you trust?" Jo said, trying desperately to make Alex feel as comfortable as possible.

"C'mon Alex I have soap, it's like paint."

"Well how can I resist that?"

Jo cleaned the kitchen and let herself breathe. It was all going to work out just fine. She was just tiding up the living room, putting Thomas' things away when they came back from bath time. Tommy had on his pyjamas and was beginning to yawn.

"Is it bed time, honey?" Jo asked.

"No. Story time."

Jo laughed and explained to Alex that Thomas has one story read to him on the sofa, then another one after he is tucked in for the night.

Alex just sat in amazement as Thomas picked up his one of the new books he had given him and Jo began to read him a story.

After the story was finished Thomas hopped off the sofa and went and climbed into Alex's lap, gave him a hug and kiss goodnight. Alex responded, only just though. He didn't know if it was because he was in awe of his son or in shock at how easy tonight was or that he somehow felt that there was no need to be scared about a future without his son in it anymore.

Jo appeared ten minutes later and sat down next to Alex on the sofa.

"You are an amazing mother Jo. He is just...I haven't got the words."

"Thank you. I was determined to give him everything we never had."

"Well I think it is safe to say you achieved that."

"Tonight has been really special Alex and I don't want to ruin it or push you. So when you are ready to hear me out, let me tell you just what happened four years ago, just let me know."

"You are right, tonight was something I thought only existed for other people like Mer and Derek, and whatever it is that made you leave me, won't take away the pain. But it might help me get the answers I have wanted for all that time."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, I got nowhere I need to be. So if you want to talk, I'm ready to listen."

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! Next Chapter is called confessions and you will find out just why Jo left! Reviews are really appreciated!**


	5. Confessions

**A/N: Thanks again for all of your support. It truly humbles me. I hope you enjoy this and if you have any suggestions I am happy to take them on board.**

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**Chapter 5 – Confessions**

_Okay you can do this. You have been waiting for a long time. You have practiced and practiced what you would say. It's here. Right now. Tell him!_

"Would you like a drink?" Jo asked.

"Sure, probably a good idea."

"Beer or a shot? I have bourbon, tequila or vodka."

"When did you turn into such a big drinker?"

"I'm not, I just bought these today in case I needed or we needed something to calm the nerves."

"Smart." Alex said with a slight smirk.

"So what will it be?"

"I'll take a shot of bourbon."

Jo poured Alex bourbon and a Vodka for herself, brought them over to the table and handed Alex his drink. They both drank them down quickly and Jo poured them both another one. The silence was palpable.

"Soooo. Are you ready?" She said with a small smile. Jo was trying to make this easy; it was never going to be easy she just needed to jump in.

"As ready as I'm ever gonna be." He replied, pouring himself another shot of bourbon.

"Do you mind if I sit facing you. I don't want to be sitting next to you. I need to see your face. You deserve to have me look you in the eye for this. I have had a lot of counselling and therapy and this is what I need to do. Is that okay with you Alex?" Jo said rambling a little.

"Um yeah I guess." Alex was a little surprised at her admission to having had a lot of counselling. He was also starting to get a very uneasy feeling in his stomach that had nothing to do with the Bourbon he had just consumed.

Jo moved and sat in front of Alex on the coffee table, their knees were almost touching, and Jo could easily see the fear in Alex's eyes. He could probably see that reflected back in her own.

_**Four years ago**_

_Jo had finished work for the day and was waiting outside of the hospital for the rain to ease a little before she made a run for the car. _

"_Dr Wilson?" The voice said dripping in sarcasm._

_Jo could feel her blood turn to ice. Just the sound of his voice brought back the memories of that night. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be working at Seattle Pres. _

"_What, what do you want?" Jo said stuttering and backing away from him._

"_A little birdie told me your boyfriend has been offered the now vacant Head of Paediatrics position."_

"_What business is it of yours?" Jo said trying to regain some of her strength._

"_Well a lot." Jason sneered as he moved into her personal space and spoke right into her face. Jo was now backed up against a side wall of the hospital. "You see because of you, I lost my job here and had to move on. I wasn't very happy about that, being downgraded to a lower category hospital. I've had a lot of time to think about that."_

"_Think about what?" Jo spat out. None of what happened after Jason's discharge had anything to do with her or Alex._

"_The fact that it really is your word against mine. You were never treated. No cops called, no photos taken, no hospital records. Just a boyfriend for a witness. See I can tell the cops your boyfriend beat me up because you were cheating on him. If it ever comes up Hell I could just say he hit you too. Let's face it he has a temper, he has been in Juvenile Detention wouldn't be hard to prove my case. It's more than believable. You really think the Mighty Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital would allow someone like that to run the Kids wards."_

"_None of that is true but Jason."_

"_Cops should believe it though. Like I said I've had a lot of time to think, I have enough put together to make the Cops believe me."_

"_Look get to the point. What do you want from me, from Alex?"_

"_Don't flatter yourself sweetheart, you are nothing but trash and a whore. I want nothing from you. Except maybe make your life miserable just like you and Karev have made mine."_

"_What are you going to do?"_

"_Oh it's not what I'm going to do it's what you're going to do."_

"_And what's that?" Jo spat out._

"_Leave him, make him suffer, God knows why, but he loves you. I suppose garbage attracts garbage."_

"_And if I don't."_

"_Then I take my story and hospital records to the cops. Karev loses his job and ends up resenting and hating you. It's your call... Princess." Jason spat the word Princess with venom. He knew Alex had always called her that. It had pissed him off when he had dated Jo. It felt good to spit it back in her face now._

**PRESENT**

Alex sat and listened to every word. He didn't react at first, he didn't know what to think or for that matter what to say. He looked up at Jo, she was strong, she had obviously told this story before to other people and there was no sign of tears, no sign of hysterics, perhaps just a small sign of sadness.

After what seemed like ten, fifteen minutes, Alex asked in almost a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me then?"

"I couldn't at the time. You had worked so hard for ten long years. You had your life together; you were offered your dream job. How could I take that away from you?"

"But it wasn't your decision to make. It was mine." He said still in nothing above a whisper, he couldn't look at her. His heart was beating rapidly. _She left to protect me._

"I know that now." Jo replied quietly. "Back then I always felt like you were too good for me, that one day you would wake up and realise that you would be better off without me."

"That is just a cop out."

"Again I know that now. Look I don't expect to be forgiven, I did what I thought was right at the time. I have had a lot of therapy and have put my childhood insecurities behind me."

"What about Thomas, when did you find out you were pregnant?"

"Eight weeks after I left, I found out I was eight weeks pregnant. I like to think that he was conceived the last night we were together."

"Jesus Jo." Alex finally raised his voice. "Why didn't you come back then? The job is great, but having you and Thomas; Jesus so much more important to me. You should have known that."

"I couldn't at the time. Jason's threats..."

"That's all they were Jo. Threats. He couldn't have proven Jack shit. The case was a year old. You had multiple people who saw your face, Derek did the surgery, and he knew I brought you in. Nothing would have happened."

"I couldn't take that chance. I couldn't let you lose everything because of me."

"Fuck Jo! I did lose everything. I lost you. I lost the first three years of our son's life. I got so caught up in being angry and drinking and sleeping with women who resembled you. Even though it always made me feel sick the next day, I still kept doing it for a year. Fuck if it wasn't for Mer and Christina I don't know what would have happened to me. Jo you have no idea the hell I went through when you walked out."

"It wasn't easy for me either." Jo said raising her voice a little now too.

"Maybe not, but you made all the choices, about our relationship. You made the decisions around the pregnancy; you made the decisions about Thomas. I didn't even know he existed."

"You have every right to hate me. But the one thing I need you to believe is I was always going to get Thomas to you. I always wanted you in his life."

"Damn right he will be in my life. I will take you to court if necessary. I want him to know who I am, who I really am, I want him to stay with me. I want joint custody."

"Alex...Please be reasonable. There is no need to go to court. Yes we will tell him the truth, but we can't rush it. You have to put your needs second to his. Tommy will need time to adjust to this. You can't just expect me to drop him at your place for the weekend and he will be completely fine with that."

"No, of course not. But we tell him soon. I'm not prepared to waste anymore time."

"Okay. But right now if you can't control that anger of yours, then I can't let you be around him."

Alex was on his feet and began to pace around the room. He was running one hand over his face, trying to absorb everything he had heard.

"You're right; I just need a couple of days to sort through all of this." He said quietly.

Jo felt her heart breaking yet again for the man she loved. She had betrayed him. All Jo could hope for was that Alex and Thomas would have a great father/son relationship.

She tried to block out the countless women Alex would have picked up and slept with. Women with long dark hair, just like her, that made her stomach turn. Jo hadn't so much as kissed another man since she left Alex. The thought repelled her. He was the sun rise and sun set for her. End of story.

"I should go." Alex said his voice returning to a normal level.

"Sure. Thanks for coming and for listening."

"Jo I get it, you were scared, but the one thing I always thought we had was trust. Apparently not. You should have been able to trust me with that. I would have protected you. We would have been fine."

"Alex, I am so sorry. If I could turn back the clock I would. I did, and I do trust you. If I didn't I wouldn't have come back. Thomas is the most important thing in my life, if I didn't trust you or believe you were going to be good for my son, I wouldn't have come back."

Alex said nothing as he walked to the front door, Jo following behind him. She opened the door for him and he turned and looked at her.

"You know those last three nights before you left, we had more sex in those three nights then we normally would. I should have taken notice of that. But my male ego wouldn't allow for that. I wanted to believe that you just couldn't get enough of me. Now I see you wanted to make it last forever because you were planning on leaving."

"Yes. I needed to have you on top of me, underneath me, inside of me, I needed to hold on for as long as I could because I knew, I would never love again the way I love you."

Alex eyes darkened as he looked into her eyes. Desire, regret, love, want, need, passion, anger all of those emotions were swimming around in his eyes. He was pretty sure he was seeing the same thing in Jo's eyes. They continued to gaze into each other's eyes, moving slowly and closer together.

Alex kissed her on the temple. "I will call you tomorrow." He whispered into her ear before he left.

Jo only nodded a response, she didn't trust herself to speak, and she knew she would say something stupid like. "I love you or please stay the night."

Alex left and Jo reached up and touched her temple where Alex only seconds ago had brushed his lips there. _Oh God Help me I still love and want him so much._

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**_A/N: I hope you liked this chapter and that it lived up to some of your expectations. Reviews are most welcome!_**


	6. Clarity

**A/N: Once again thank you for the overwhelming support of this story. It is just gone 4.00am in Australia right now and I couldn't sleep so thought I would post this chapter. Hope you al have a good weekend! Oh The words in italics are their thoughts, although I am sure you are all smart enough to figure that out!**

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**Chapter 6 – Clarity**

For the first time in Alex's life, he felt truly okay. It had been three days since Jo had told him about why she left. He had gone through every emotion he ever thought possible. No question he was still annoyed with her for why she did what she did. However he also understood that four years ago she wasn't as put together as she is now. He had to cut her some slack for that. He also knew everything she did; she believed wholeheartedly it was for him. That still staggered him the most.

Jo had been prepared to give up everything she was working towards for him. Then when she found out she was pregnant, she went it alone, and managed to finish her medical degree. Granted she wasn't a surgeon anymore, she had put Thomas first, but she still managed to become a Doctor. The enormity of what she had sacrificed for him, for their son was still something he couldn't quite reconcile in his mind.

Jo felt such a sense of relief, as if a weight she had been carrying on her shoulders for so long had finally been lifted. She knew Alex was still mad but he didn't seem to hate her as much as she had convinced herself he would. Perhaps everything would work out. Well not everything, but Thomas would get the father he deserved and Alex would get his son. She wasn't naive enough to believe Alex and she would get back to together. Now that notion definitely belonged in the fairy tale category.

Alex had taken Arizona's offer of two weeks leave. As Jo had already started her new job at an outpatient clinic, Alex offered to baby sit. _Is it even called babysitting when it's your own kid?_ Both of them saw it as an opportunity for Alex and Thomas to bond before they told him the truth. He was nervous about it but looked forward to spending time with him each day. Towards the end of the first week Alex bought a car seat so he could take Thomas places.

"Mommy, mommy you will never guess what I did t'day?" Thomas asked as Jo walked in the door.

"Tell me?" Jo said as she picked him up and covered his face in kisses.

"Alex took me to park and 'Donalds for lunch."

Jo looked over at Alex.

"Thomas, you promised if I took you to MacDonald's we wouldn't tell mommy."Alex said pretending to be hurt. He had already asked Jo earlier if that would be okay. Jo did allow him treats, she wasn't always tough on his healthy diet.

"MacDonald's? Was it nice baby?" Jo said with a laugh. "He makes me feel like I deprive him of food." Jo said to Alex. Alex just returned her smile. Even after a nine hour shift he thought she still looked beautiful.

"Yep, I had nuggets."

"Of course you did. They are your favourites. What did you do at the park?"

"I went on the swings, and slip-a-dip. Morrow Alex is taking me to the zoo to see all the an-mals."

"Oh wow! The Zoo. That should be pretty cool."

"Yep." Thomas replied simply.

Jo put Thomas back down and he ran into his room to get some more toys.

"You are spoiling him." Jo said smiling.

"Nah, I'm getting more out of it then him." Alex said quietly. He was completely besotted by his son. "How was work?"

"Okay."

"Just okay."

"Yeah, after I dropped out of the surgical program, I still was committed to doing medicine but didn't quite know what, so I went along with General Practitioner type of stuff. Last year I did my first year of psychiatry. I loved it. I would really like to finish that."

"Psychiatry. Seriously? You wanna get in people's heads and sort their shit out? Haven't you done enough of that?" Alex said surprised.

"No. That is counselling. I want to help diagnose and help people with mental illness."

"Same thing isn't it?" He said with a smirk waiting to get a rise out of her.

"You know full well it isn't. I'm not biting tonight Alex." She said with an almost flirty tone.

"You are serious aren't you?" Alex asked realising she really was.

"Yeah I am." Jo said with a shrug of her shoulders. "One day. You want to stay for dinner?"

"Love to." Alex said as he watched Jo walk past him into the kitchen.

It all felt like a dream. Everything was going so smoothly. He sat at the kitchen table and watched Jo as she moved around the kitchen. He knew he should offer to help but he just loved to watch her. He watched her tie her hair up on top of her head and he stared at the back of her neck wondering if being kissed just under her right earlobe still drove her crazy.

Jo bent over and all he could see was her perfect ass. He could feel himself getting aroused which was really uncomfortable and yet another reason he did not want to get up from the table. _Calm down think of something else. QUICK._

Thomas saved the day for Alex. He could now focus his attention on Thomas instead of his son's insanely hot mother. After Alex had himself under control Thomas took him into his room to show him his latest drawing.

Over dinner of Vegetarian Risotto and salad Alex suggested that he speak to the Board of Directors, (his friends) if there would be a position available for Jo at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.

"I was just thinking if you wanted to, perhaps there is a position for a second year resident in Psychiatry."

"Really? I mean that would be great, but after everything that has happened..." Jo trailed off not wanting to give to many details away in front of Thomas.

"They know you are a good doctor Jo. God knows it's a field not many doctors want to go into so I think they would be happy to have you back. Also that way Tommy could go to day care at the hospital we both work at."

"Would I be at your hos-i-tal Alex?" Thomas asked.

"Yeah if mommy came and worked with me. What do you think?"

"That'd be good. You visit me at lunch." He added like Alex had no-where else to be in the middle of the day.

"Well baby mommy has to get a job there first, so let's not jump ahead."

"Ohhh" Thomas whined. "You always say that."

"Well I don't like getting your hopes up." Jo explained, whilst giving Alex a death stare across the table.

After Thomas said his good nights and went to bed, Alex apologised.

"It's okay. I just don't like him pinning his hopes on things and then they don't happen."

"I get it. But I am pretty sure, if you really want to do this residency, I'm sure we can make it happen."

"Why? Why would you do that for me after everything I did?"

"Call me selfish Jo. It means I get to see Thomas every day, _as well as you_ and I think it's a good idea. We get to co-parent. I can help out. I can pick him up when you can't. I have a lot of making up to do and you are allowing me to do that. It's the least I can do. If he is at the same place we are all day it just makes sense." Alex said shrugging his shoulders.

"Well if you can make it happen, I would love the chance to do it." Jo smiled just slightly. She didn't want to get her hopes up that working together again could lead to something more.

"I will speak to Jackson tomorrow." He said, trying not to look into her eyes too long.

"Thanks. I would really appreciate it." Jo said quietly, not trusting herself to think that Alex might just want to see her everyday too.

"I should get going. What time will you bring Tommy around in the morning?"

"Around 6.30am. I have a 7.00am start tomorrow."

Alex got up from the lounge and walked to the front door, Jo following behind. She loved the way he moved, she could see the muscles in his back, thinking about how she used to love to run her nails down his back. Thinking how much he used to love her doing it. Jo shook her head to get those thoughts out of her head. _It is never going to happen again so suck it up. Be grateful he wants to be friends._

They paused at the doorway. He looked into her eyes, and smiled that silly lope sided smile of his, and pushed some hair out of her face that had come loose from her ponytail. The feel of his fingers on her face sent shivers down her whole body.

The way he looked at her, took her breath away and her body reacted to his just by a single touch and standing so close they were almost touching.

"Good night Princess." He whispered huskily. He kissed her on the temple like he had a week or so ago before opening the door.

"Goodnight Alex, see you early tomorrow morning." Jo said quietly.

Jo closed the door and stood with her back to the door, she couldn't breathe and her heart was racing so fast. One look, one touch and his old nickname for her coming from his lips had nearly brought her undone. She took a few deep breaths and made her way to bed. What she wouldn't give to have him in there with her.

Alex drove home. _Fuck Fuck Fuck not again. Why does she do this to me? I only have to be close to her and I'm as hard as a seventeen year old boy. I'm forty fucking two for God's sake she shouldn't make me feel this way. What I wouldn't give to be in bed with her now._

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it and please leave a review!**


	7. Tears

**A/N: Thank you for continuing to support this story. **

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**Chapter 7 – Tears**

Four weeks later, all the interviews had been done and the Board of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital was thrilled to offer Doctor Jo Wilson a position back as a second year resident. Granted she had chosen a different specialty but like Alex said Psychiatry was not a field that many Doctors wanted to specialize in, so with Jo's compassion, empathy, life experiences and understanding she was a perfect fit for the Mental Health Team.

Jo and Thomas both had first day nerves. New hospital, new Job, new day care centre, new friends for Thomas to make, old friends for Jo to re-connect with and some new colleagues to get to know. It was always going to be a tough day for both of them. Just how tough remained to be seen.

Jo and Alex both took Thomas to day care before their shifts began. They wanted to make sure they had settled him in before they left. Tommy was holding on to both Jo and Alex's hand until Bailey Shepherd came rushing over.

"Uncle Alex, Uncle Alex." Bailey said excitedly and threw himself into Alex's legs. At this Thomas pulled away from Alex and only wanted his mother. Thomas had begun to feel as though Alex belonged to him, and now it seemed he had to share him with someone who called him Uncle. Just like any three year old especially an only child he didn't like to share. Especially Alex, the only Male figure he had ever had in his life.

"Hi Bailey." Alex said trying not to hurt Bailey's feelings. At the same time Alex hated the fact that Thomas had pulled away from him. He didn't want the trust he had built with Thomas over the past six weeks or so to come crashing down around the three of them either.

Jo took Thomas over to the Principal of the day care centre and explained that she had just started working at the hospital and Thomas was here for his first day. When Jo handed the paperwork back she put herself down as next of kin but she put Alex down as emergency contact.

"Bailey, I need you to do me a big favour." Alex asked.

"What is it Uncle Alex?"

"This is Thomas and he is new here. Do you think you could look after him today for me? You know show him around a bit." Alex asked in all seriousness.

"Mmm do you like blocks?" Bailey asked Thomas.

Thomas being a little shy just nodded his head.

"Come on then." Bailey said and grabbed his hand and headed over to the blocks he had been playing with earlier.

Jo returned, kissed her son and left quickly, with Alex following.

"That seemed easy." Alex commented.

"I've learnt over the years the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave and he gets upset. Starting day care where he doesn't know anyone is scary, but when you are shy and sensitive like he is, it just makes things harder on him if I stay. Thanks for introducing him to Meredith and Derek's son at least he has a starting point."

"That's okay. You aren't the only one worried here today." Alex confided in the hall. "So do you want me to come and check in on him in between surgeries?"Alex asked wanting desperately to do the right thing."

"No I have found that if you do, it makes it harder to leave. We are better to let him make his own way. I finishing at 6.00pm I will pick him up then, but if you finish earlier feel free to come down and just hang out. I have you down as emergency contact. So if I can't get here; God forbid anything goes wrong you're it. I hope that is okay."

"Of course it is. I finish hopefully at 5.00pm today but you never know. I will come down and wait for you. Maybe we could all grab some dinner together, you know celebrate our first day. I just want the world to know he is my son. But we will do that all in good time." Alex said his eyes softening as he looked at her.

"Soon Alex. I promise. Oh and dinner sounds great. I don't think I will be up for cooking tonight." She said quietly squeezing his hand.

With that Alex left for the Pediatric ward and Jo left to start her first day as a second year Psychiatric Resident.

Jo met her Attending Dr Ryan Hardy and spent most of the day with him, doing consults and learning the ropes of this new field of medicine. Jo had her phone on silent as she didn't want to be disturbed whilst going over a chart for a patient with Schizophrenia. It was complex, and Jo was totally engrossed in the patient's history.

Alex had just come out of surgery when his phone went off.

"Karev" He answered as he didn't recognize the number that came up on his cell phone.

"Dr Karev, this is Kathy from the day care centre, you are down as Thomas Wilson's emergency contact. I can't get hold of his mother..."

"What's happened to him?" Alex said fear beginning to take over as he ran towards the elevators.

"Nothing, he just won't stop crying."

"I'm on my way; tell him I will be there soon."

Alex arrived at the day care centre and sure enough, Thomas was crying nearly hysterically.

"Hey come here, I've got you. What's wrong little man?" Alex said taking him out of the child care workers arms.

Thomas was in no state to answer, his breathing was laboured and the tears wouldn't stop.

"Look Dr Karev, it's nothing. He is just upset because the kids were asking about his dad. As he doesn't have a father he got upset."

"And? How long did you let him cry like this for?" Alex said trying not to let his anger get the better of him.

"For about an hour."

"An hour! Did you bother to read his history?"

"It is my experience that children from single parent families when asked about the absent parent get very upset. He will settle eventually."

"DID. YOU. READ. HIS. HISTORY?" Alex repeated with a slow anger in his tone.

"No. There wasn't time."

"There wasn't time? Jesus! Well if you had bothered to do your job you would know that Thomas suffers from asthma, quite severely. This length of crying could bring on an asthma attack."

"I am sorry I was unaware. As I couldn't get hold of his mother..."

"Don't blame his mother for your incompetence. This is on you. As for "your experience" I'd like to know in what? Child physiology, paediatric medicine. What?"

Alex was still holding a crying Thomas when Jo came running in the room.

"My god what has happened? "

"Sheer incompetence." Alex spat as he took Thomas and left to go back to the Ped's ward to check his oxygen levels and offer more comfort.

Jo followed them out of the room. "Alex please tell me what happened?"

"Apparently the other kids were asking about Tommy's dad. I guess he didn't have an answer and all the other kids were talking about theirs and he got upset. Right now I am more concerned about his asthma. Then I will worry about the other thing."

The three of them entered an exam room and Thomas crawled into his mother's lap, while Alex got his stethoscope out and listened to his heart rate and how much oxygen he was taking in. Being with his mom and her comforting words soothed him.

When Thomas had calmed down enough and was able to breathe normally, he was ready to answer his mother's questions.

"Now baby do you want to tell us what happened in there today?" Jo prompted.

"All kids talk about a daddy and I want one and I don't got one." Tommy said comfortable enough now that he was with his mom. During the past six weeks he had also come to trust Alex implicitly as well.

"Well that isn't quite true sweetheart." Jo replied quietly.

Alex was definitely not going to say a thing. He was letting Jo take the lead and whatever she said he would be okay with one way or the other.

"But where is he? Why doesn't want me." Thomas said his bottom lip trembling.

Alex had to look away; there was no-way he was letting his son see his own eyes fill up with tears. For that matter he didn't want Jo to see him either. But those words 'doesn't want me' hurt like he had been stabbed in the stomach with a knife one hundred times. _I do want you, more than you can ever know. You and your mother are the most important things in my shitty life. I'd give up everything I have for the two of you._

"Oh baby boy your daddy does want you. He does. He has been busy working away and mommy took you to live somewhere else and she is so sorry for that."

"Why?"

"Because mommy was scared and she made a mistake. I shouldn't have done that. I am sorry baby."

"Where is he? My daddy." Thomas asked quietly.

Jo looked over at Alex and nodded her head slightly. Alex knew what was coming and braced himself for the reaction. He had no idea if it was going to be good or bad.

"Sweetie, I need you to have a drink of water and listen to mommy carefully. Can you do that?"

Thomas nodded his head.

"Do you have your listening ears on? Because this is really important." Jo asked smiling.

"Yes I promise." He said.

Jo took Alex's hand in hers and gave it a little squeeze, it was now or never.

"Thomas, Alex is your daddy."

Thomas's eyes were as wide as sources. He took a moment and just stared at Alex and then back at his mother.

"Really?" Thomas asked directly looking at Alex.

"Yes. Is that okay?" Alex asked gently not knowing what to else to say.

Thomas got down off his mother's lap and went and climbed up into Alex's lap, while Alex and Jo still held hands.

Thomas kissed Alex and said "Can I call you daddy now?" Before he threw his arms around Alex's neck. This time Alex didn't care if Jo saw his eyes welling up with tears. This was the most significant moment of his life so far.

"I would love it if you did." Alex said fighting back the tears.

Jo began to cry too. This was definitely a moment she would never forget. Jo had thought about so many scenarios in her head how this would play out. None of them had lived up to this one.

"Thomas, I need you to know something. I have always wanted you and I love you very much." Alex said.

Thomas had a big grin on his face. "I love you too daddy, can I tell everyone now?"

"Anyone you want too." Alex said with a slight laugh.

"Let's go. I wanna tell everyone at day care." He said as he got down from Alex's lap and grabbed his parents hands and led them out the door.

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**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter and please leave me a review! Next Chapter will be more Alex/Jo focused! I promise!**


	8. Single Life

**A/N: Hi Guys, please don't expect updates this quick in the future. It is just this weeks episode really disturbed me and I had to write something happy for Jo and Alex. I hope you like it. I want to thank you all for so many kind reviews. It really makes me want to keep going, knowing people are enjoying what I am writing.**

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**Chapter 8 – Single life**

"Hey Jo, you wanna tell me why Leah and Stephanie are blaming me because you won't go out with them Saturday night?" Alex asked.

"I don't know." Jo lied, refusing to look up from her chart she was studying.

"God this place gives me the creeps." Alex said looking around at how differently this ward was set up to any other. Getting no response from Jo he pushed on. "How do you stand it up here with all these weirdo's." Alex said knowing exactly how to get Jo fired up.

"Alex! You are such a jerk. These people are sick just like... God I fall for it every time. What do you want?" She said even more annoyed. Why didn't he just get it that she didn't want to go out. She was happy "playing families" with Alex and Thomas.

"I want to know why you are lying to your friends."

"Well technically I'm not."

"Technically? This should be good."

"Well I didn't know what your plans were. I assumed you would have some and that there would be no-one to watch Thomas."

"Well I don't have plans, and I'm not on call. So you should go and Tommy can come and have a sleep over at mine."

"Oh well, you don't...well I mean its short notice."

"Jo? It's Tuesday. Not really short notice."

"Oh All right! I don't want to go and you can't make me." Jo huffed.

Alex stared at her and started laughing really loud. "Oh Princess you need to drop the bottom lip a little more and stomp your right foot and you look just like Thomas when you make him eat peas."

"I do not." She said throwing a pen at him.

"Oh yes you do. At least I know he doesn't get that from me." Alex said still laughing.

"Shut up. I'm not going."

"Why? You should go out with your friends you need a break. You work, study and look after Thomas. You need to take some time out."

"When did you become Dr Phil?"

"Say that again and I will have to think of something nasty to put in your coffee." Alex said smiling. God he had missed her. Missed her being his friend, missed their stupid banter.

"Okay, you win. I will go out with the girls. I haven't been out since before Thomas was born."

"I'm sure you will be just fine." Alex replied as he walked away and back to his own Department.

Four nights later, Jo was standing at the front of Alex's door about to drop her son off. It was going to be the first night since he had been born that she would not be with him. She knew Thomas would be fine, she knew Alex would be fine, she wasn't so sure she would be.

"Hey, come in." Alex said trying his best not to stare. Jo was dressed in an above knee length little black dress. Nothing too much but on her it looked amazing. He took Tommy's bags from her as Thomas launched himself at his father.

"Guess what daddy?"

"What's that?"

"I brung free movies."

"Three? I don't know if we will have that much time." Alex said. The thought of watching Cars and The Lion King again was not appealing.

"We will. Put it on now."

"Slow down a bit, let's say goodbye to mommy first then we can put it on." Alex said to Thomas before whispering to Jo. "Please tell me there is something new in there I haven't seen?"

"Afraid not. Cars, Lion King and Finding Nemo. Enjoy your night!" Jo said with a slight laugh.

"Well I can see we are going to need a lot of sugar to get through tonight and I've bought all kinds of treats that only dad's provide." He replied glaring back at Jo as he picked Thomas up. "We have chocolate ice cream and some lollies and some pop corn for the movies."

"You are the best dad ever." Tommy said giving his mother a very smug look that he had definitely inherited from his father.

"Great work. You can deal with his sugar high and enjoy the low when it hits." Jo replied. "Give mommy a kiss goodbye." Thomas gave his mother a quick kiss and went back into the living room.

"I'll miss you too." She muttered to herself.

"Stop worrying. He will be fine and you look great. I'm sure you will have a good time."

"Really, I wasn't sure about this dress." Jo said as she ran her hands over the material.

_Really, you are gonna stand there and touch yourself, in that dress that I want to get you out of and be so unaware of what you are doing to me!_

"No it's a great dress. Go. Have fun I will see you tomorrow."

Alex just wanted her to leave. The longer she stood there the less self control he was having. He didn't want her to go out anymore than she wanted to go. He knew men, he knew she could walk into any bar in the city and ten or more guys would be lined up to talk to her, buy her a drink and think they would have a shot at taking her home. The last thought alone made him want to punch something.

By Nine pm, Thomas had had his sugar high and was now in the low. Alex carried him up to his bed and tucked him in, leaving the night light on that he had bought in case Thomas woke and was frightened. He then went downstairs to tidy up. Alex was flicking through the TV stations when a knock at the door came.

A part of him was surprised, yet another part of him wasn't when he could see through the glass door that it was Jo.

"It's nine thirty." He said as he opened the door.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't want to be there. Can I hang out here for a while? I promise I will leave and you can have your night with Tommy without me."

"Is that what you think?" He asked.

"Well isn't it? You want to spend time with him alone, without me around. Isn't that why you want me to go out with friends, I don't know maybe start dating."

"I have never said that." The thought of her dating hadn't really crossed his mind, but fuck if he was about to let that happen.

"Well why are you pushing so hard to get me to go out?"

"I thought that was what you should do. I don't know. You have given up so much I just figured you should go out and get drunk and stuff."

"Alex. No. You should know me better than that." Jo said as she sat down next to him.

"Let me get to know you again." He said taking her hand.

_God I'm easy. All he has to do is say a few nice things and yep there it is those eyes he gives me and I am his. All his._

Alex looked so serious; he looked at her eyes and then glanced at her lips. Her free hand reached up and held the side of her face. They both leaned in at the same time and their lips lightly touched each other. Within moments, the kiss had intensified and Alex had pulled Jo onto his lap. In between moans of pleasure from both of them, hands began to wander wanting to feel each other again after so long apart.

Jo pulled away and rested her forehead on his and tried to get her breathing under control.

"Sorry, I'll slow down." Alex said, touching her on the side of her face and trying to regain his own breath.

"No! It's not that. It's just I haven't...well done this for ...well since the last time we did."

"What? Oh. Okay umm well what is it you need?" Alex said trying very hard to remember all things Jo. He used to be able to speak fluent Jo.

"Just you." She said. As she began to kiss him again and take his shirt off.

"Oh right got it. Hard and fast, first time, slow after that." He whispered in her ear remembering just what it was she was trying to tell him.

"Very good. But save the dirty talk for later, if you do that now too, well this will be over very quickly." She mumbled through his kiss.

He pushed her dress up to her waist and ran his hands along her legs, before touching her in between them, she was already a little wet and he moaned into her ear as he felt her. Jo could feel how hard Alex was and she couldn't wait to feel him inside of her again. Right now though she could hardly think as he pushed her slightly back onto the sofa and slowly pulled her black lace panties off.

She mildly protested something about wanting to please him too but he was not having any of it. He silenced her with a kiss and using one hand he gently pushed one breast out of her dress and teased her nipple with his thumb and forefinger, before taking it into his mouth. The other hand was running from her knee up to the inside of her thigh.

"Alex..." she moaned

He ran his hand along her centre, before entering one and then two fingers inside her. She was so sensitive and aroused and was finally with him she knew this first time with him touching her like this wouldn't last long.

"Alex I'm so sorry but..."

"Don't be sorry, come for me babe." He whispered huskily as he lifted himself off her so he could watch her underneath him. She felt tight, she was so warm, wet and he wanted to be inside of her desperately but that could wait. They had all night. He was damned sure there would be no sleeping tonight. He moved his thumb over her clit and within minutes her toes were curling and she was coming harder than she had ever remembered.

"Oh. My. God." She gasped as the last waves of orgasm washed over her.

"Are you okay?" He asked genuinely concerned.

"Yes more than okay. I'm just so sorry that was all about me. Let me..."

"No. Do I look like I am unhappy?" He said kissing her lightly. "Do I feel unhappy?" He said taking her hand and placing it on his painfully hard erection.

"No. It's just..."

"Shh! Let's just go to bed. Let me take care of you tonight. Let me get to know you again."

She sat back up and they walked up the stairs to the bedroom. When they got to the top of the stairs Jo automatically went to Alex's bedroom door.

"No, Thomas is asleep in there; we will have to go in here." He whispered, gesturing to the door across the hall.

"Fuck Alex. I forgot about him. In four years I have never forgotten him. I am a bad mother."

"Stop it." He said with a smile, pulling her body flush with his. "If I get this right, I will make you forget your own name." He said with a smirk.

The bedroom door closed behind them.

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**A/N: I hope you liked this. Be kind and review!**


	9. Sex and Breakfast

**A/N: Once Again thank you to all of the support I have received for this story it really does surprise me. I didn't expect to finish this chapter so quickly but it kind of wrote itself. I hope you all Like it. This chapter as the title suggests is probably leaning more towards the M rating.**

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**Chapter 9 – Sex and Breakfast**

Alex unzipped Jo's dress and pushed it a little so it could fall down around her feet. He just looked at her, starting with her eyes, then as she moved closer to him he began to let his eyes roam over her body as she stood naked before him.

Jo moved even closer and began to kiss his neck and then let her hands move down to unbutton his jeans. Soon they were both naked and kissing slowly, his tongue entered her mouth and Jo moaned as she put both hands on his face to pull him in closer.

Everything about Alex's movements was deliberate. He had waited four very long years to have her like this again. He was determined to make it perfect. The kiss was slow and sensual. Tongues, entwining as Alex's arms began to travel down her back, pulling her body totally flush with his. Jo moved her arms from his face and lightly traced down his chest, then his stomach. She moved her hands a little lower and felt his erection. She started at the base and slowly moved her hand up to the top and rubbed her thumb along the head before repeating the motion.

Alex moaned into her mouth but after the fourth or fifth time she did this he put his hand on top of hers to still it.

"What's wrong?" Jo asked, slightly confused

"Nothing, nothing at all. Jo...Fuck I'm not good with words you know that."

"Don't you want to?" Jo said beginning to panic a little.

"NO! NO! I do oh God you have no idea how much I want to."

Jo smiled and said softly "Well let me touch you. I want to give you some pleasure."

"That's it. The thing is... I just want to have you. I want to feel every part of you, I want to feel your body shudder underneath me, I want to make you come with my hands and my lips, mouth and my tongue before I am inside you."

"Oh fuck Alex you said you weren't good with words but I think that is pretty hot." She said beginning to kiss him again and touching his erection. A few minutes later he stopped her again.

"Please Jo I won't last long if you do that. If you really want to give me what I want then let me love you. I just want to feel you and see your body respond to me, nothing has ever turned me on as much as watching your nipples get hard under my touch or how wet you get when I run my tongue up the inside of your thigh. Feeling your hips move against my face."

"Oh Alex stop talking and just ..." Jo didn't get to finish her sentence because he had smothered her lips with his and pushed her back on the bed.

As he trailed kisses down her neck and chest Jo couldn't help but interrupt one more time.

"But Alex what about you? You need to..."

"I will. I only want to come when I am deep inside you. I plan on doing that at least twice tonight. We have all night babe."

"Oh fuck" Jo moaned as Alex began to stroke her right nipple and make it harden, just as he sucked the other into his mouth licking it lightly before biting it softly.

He slowly moved down to kiss her stomach; there was enough light shining in the room as they had left a bedside lamp on. He noticed and ran his fingers lightly over her c/section scars, he kissed them lightly and decided to ask about that later. Now wasn't the time.

Again he painfully moved slower until he began to kiss from the inside of her knee up to the inside of the top of her thigh. He brushed his lips softly across her centre before continuing down the other side. Jo was gripping the sheets with her fists. She knew from experience if she begged for more he would torture her longer so she kept her mouth shut except for the odd moan or "oh God" "Yes Alex" or some other muttered words.

When Alex finally thought she could take no more he licked her centre and continued to do so for as long as he wanted. She was His. He was in control of her orgasm. He was in control of her pleasure and nothing in the world had ever made him feel more powerful. He always knew what she needed; by the way she would lift her hips or try to sit up. He pushed two fingers into her wetness as he flicked his tongue over her clit. Alex knew she was on the edge and looked up at her while he continued working on her going over that edge. Jo instinctively knew he was looking at her. She knew this turned him on to lock eyes with her from that position, so he could feel her come on his hands and mouth but also see the pleasure and lust in her eyes. It was sensory overload and moments later Jo's second really intense orgasm hit her for the night.

She had no time to come down from that wave when Alex had altered his plan he couldn't hold on any longer and entered her in one fluid movement. Jo's eyes widened as she gazed into his lust filled eyes. Jo needed to adjust to the feel of him deep inside her. He pushed her leg up over his shoulder and just pumped in and out of her. Starting slowly then building to a pretty hard and fast pace.

"OH Fuck Jo, you feel so good." He muttered as he buried his head in her neck.

"MMM oh God Alllexxx don't stop, just there oh yes that's it." She muttered back.

Alex couldn't hold on any longer and he didn't want to. He had slept with so many women after Jo, wanting them to all be Jo. But right here, right now, he had the real deal. He had the woman he loved more than life itself and he couldn't hold back. His Orgasm ripped through him harder than he expected. It lasted longer than he expected too and he filled Jo with everything he had.

Alex collapsed on top of Jo, not wanting to leave her warmth just yet. They lay together holding each other as they caught their breath. Alex finally moved off Jo and pulled her close, her head resting on his muscled chest.

"I forgot." He said.

"About what?" Jo asked looking up at him.

"What this is like when it's someone you care about, someone you have feelings for." Alex wasn't ready to say "I love you" yet, only out of fear that it wouldn't be returned.

"Yeah, it has always been different with you." That was as much as Jo would admit too as well.

Jo was still awake but she knew Alex was falling asleep as he was beginning to mumble his answers to her questions. She waited until he was asleep and decided it was her turn to have her way with his body.

She moved slowly down the bed not wanting to wake him just yet. She put her hand on the base of him and watched as he began to harden under her touch, she then moved and swirled her tongue around the top. Alex began to moan in his sleep before he woke to see Jo's mouth working its magic on him, he placed both hands and tangled them in her hair as she kept sucking, licking and kissing him. He enjoyed the feeling for as long as he could before reaching the point of no return.

"Stop babe...please. Come here. Are you ready?" He asked his voice laced with lust and desire. As he pulled Jo up towards him.

"You know I am. Doing that to you turns me on so much." She replied before she sunk herself onto him.

She kissed his chest, before she sat up straight and kept moving on top of him, she would alternate between up and down and in a circle motion.

"Faster." He muttered.

Jo did as he asked, she moved faster and Alex called out her name as he felt himself spill into her again. Jo followed seconds later moaning in ecstasy.

Again they collapsed on the bed. Alex was lightly kissing her shoulder when they both heard Thomas calling.

"Daddy, Daddy."

"Oh God. Do you think we woke him?" Jo asked going into panic mode.

"Well..." He said with a smirk.

"Daddy Daddy." Thomas was now crying and they could hear his footsteps.

"I'll go." Jo said.

"You aren't supposed to be hear remember. I'll go, you get some sleep." Alex said. "Great timing kid." He added.

"Could have been worse, could have been two minutes earlier." Jo said cheekily.

Alex smirked at Jo as he whispered; "That would have been cruel."

It was all too late; Thomas had in fact heard "Strange noises" and was opening the spare bedroom door. Alex and Jo froze, pulling the sheets and quilt up around themselves.

"Mommy, mommy, what are you doing here?" He asked as he made his way to his mother's side.

"Oh Umm sweetie I decided to have a sleepover too." Jo said red faced, pulling the sheets up around herself tighter to cover her naked body.

"Did you have a bad dream; is why daddy here with you?" The innocent three year old asked.

"Yes, mommy had a bad dream and I just wanted to make sure she was okay." Alex said, feeling like a teenager being caught in the act.

"I heard mommy making noises."

"Yes it was a bad dream. But I'm okay now sweetheart. Why don't you go back to bed for a little while, daddy will come in and sleep with you." Jo said feeling so uncomfortable; she couldn't imagine a more embarrassing situation.

"I get in bed with both of you" Thomas said before beginning to climb into the bed with his naked parents.

"Oh no! Umm Tommy come on, daddy will take you back to bed, and mommy needs to get some sleep. I am right behind you." Alex said as he was fumbling around for something he could put on. Thank God he found his boxers not too far from the bed.

What seemed like no time at all, it was six am and Thomas wanted his breakfast. It did not matter that either of his parents had only managed an hour and a half's worth of sleep, it was time to get up.

Thomas ran into the room his mother was in and woke her up. Jo had managed to find an old T-shirt to cover herself.

"Hey Tommy lets go make some pancakes? I'm sure mommy will have some when she has had a shower. Alex said looking over Thomas's shoulder mouthing "I'm sorry".

"That sounds great doesn't it Thomas?" Jo added.

"Why did you want a sleepover at daddy's?" Thomas asked.

Jo was trying to think of something quick to say, but couldn't come up with a thing. Alex jumped in.

"Come on. We have cooking to do." Alex said changing the awkward line of questioning.

Thank God Thomas was easily distracted by the sound of making breakfast. "Okay" he replied chirpily and left the room with his father closing the bedroom door.

After they left Jo took a deep breath and then got out of bed and gathered her dress and bra from the floor. Her black lace panties which she knew were on the white sofa downstairs or on the floor of the living room, would have to be recovered discreetly. Hopefully Alex had intercepted them before Thomas saw them and asked more uncomfortable questions. She quickly showered and freshened herself up before joining her two men in the kitchen.

"I feel like I am doing the walk of shame." Jo whispered in Alex's ear.

"You will be fine, we just have to learn to be quiet or better still get a baby sitter."

"Mmm." Jo agreed.

The three of them sat down and ate blueberry pancakes and drank apple juice. It finally felt like they were a real family.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please be kind and review.**


	10. Explode

**A/N: To be honest I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter. It is a little bit of a filler chapter but I do promise this is going somewhere.**

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**Chapter 10 – Explode**

After breakfast Jo told Thomas it was time to go home.

"Why? Can't we stay at Daddy's" Thomas whined.

"Because daddy has things I am sure he needs to do and I have some study to do. So you young man have to go upstairs and pack your things." Jo said sternly.

Thomas looked at his father for back up. He wasn't getting any. Alex didn't want to push the co-parenting thing too hard. Jo was still the boss for now, especially after last night. He wasn't prepared to jeopardise that.

"You don't have to go, you know." Alex said as soon as Thomas was out of ear shot.

"Thanks, but I have so much work to do." Jo said looking down.

"Hey, you aren't regretting last night are you?" He asked a little concerned.

"No! Not at all. I just...well I can't believe I just caved so easy. Alex I need you to know I don't do that, I...It's you..."

"I know. It wouldn't matter anyway. Jo you have to know it has always been you."

"I have no self control were you are concerned." Jo hurried the last bit and blushed slightly.

"I have no self control around you either." He whispered as he moved in closer to kiss her. The kiss lasted a little longer and as his arms went around Jo's waist, his tongue met hers.

"Daddy, why are you kissing mommy?" Thomas asked.

The couple pulled apart quickly.

"I was just saying goodbye, that's all." Alex said hoping that sounded believable.

"Have you got everything?" Jo asked. Trying to focus on what she was doing and not on Alex's lips.

"Think so. Bye daddy." Thomas said as he went to his father, who picked him up and kissed him before putting him back down.

"Bye Tommy, be a good boy for your mom." Alex said as they both left.

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The next couple of weeks went by quickly and Jo and Alex had managed to find some alone time. They were being careful; they didn't want everyone to know yet, especially Thomas. It would be confusing for him, when they had worked it out for themselves, they would tell him, and then they would let the rest of the world know. For right now they stuck to stolen kisses at work, and they would make love when Thomas had gone to bed, being extra quiet.

Alex came over for dinner most nights, and on the nights that Jo was working night shift, Thomas would sleep over at Alex's house. They had worked out a make shift routine and it seemed to be working.

Alex had set up one of the spare bedrooms for Tommy. This way it would feel more permanent and he would feel more comfortable. It was really important that Thomas knew he had two homes for now anyway. If things went the way Alex wanted them too, Jo and Thomas would be moving into his house sooner rather than later.

Jo couldn't remember a time in her life when everything felt right. She knew Alex was far from perfect but then again neither was she. Jo never dreamt that Alex would want her back after leaving him the way she did, but he had. Thomas's easy transition in learning that he had a father, and having grown to love his father very quickly was also a dream come true. The last piece of the puzzle was to admit to Thomas that maybe mommy and daddy would live together just like Bailey's parents did. Then the fairy tale would be complete.

Then of course if that wasn't enough, Jo had found her true calling in medicine. She thrived on working in psychiatry, her mentor Dr Ryan Hardy was amazing and gave her so many opportunities to learn, he was a great teacher and was fast becoming a good friend.

Thomas was staying the night at Alex's house as Jo was working a double shift.

"Jo, you go home. You look exhausted; it's been a long day." Dr Hardy said.

"Are you sure? I don't mind staying to see how Miss Taylor is through the night."

"No real need Jo, she is pretty heavily sedated, and hopefully we can start fresh in the morning. She just needs sleep; before we can convince her she needs to start on her bi-polar medication again."

"Well if you're sure?"

"I am. I'm going home too. I'll walk you out."

"Thanks." Jo smiled as they left together.

Dr Hardy was a Fellow of Psychiatry and head of the department. He was also known by several nicknames from the female staff, Dr Clooney or GC. By those descriptions he was tall dark and handsome. He had dark hair and blue eyes and had just had his fiftieth birthday and resembled George Clooney.

Ryan was single and very much interested in his new protégée. He knew Jo had a son, had met him a few times and liked him a great deal, he also knew her son's father who ran the Paediatrics ward. For the life of him he didn't see them as a match, which pleased him. Jo was way too smart for Alex. From what he had heard about Dr Karev he was great with kids but had a bad temper and used women for his own carnal needs.

He had time, he would wait, he had waited a long time to find the right woman, and if she was twenty years younger than him so be it. He wasn't going to rush her; he would start with being her friend. Ryan knew he was the right fit for Jo not the Neanderthal that fathered her son.

* * *

Alex had put Thomas to bed after many protests eventually by nine pm. He was just about to head up to have a shower and had just taken his shirt off, when he heard a knock at the door. All he could see was a flash of dark wavy hair. He smiled as he opened the door.

"You can use your key..." He trailed off and his smile dropped. It wasn't Jo.

"I don't have a key babe. You can always give me one though."

"Rachael, what are you doing here?" He asked as he glanced up at the stairs just hoping Thomas would not walk down those stairs.

"Oh babe I'm hurt, I haven't heard from you in months." She said as she ducked under his arm and began to take her shirt off."

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like? Come on Alex let's just stop the talking and fuck."

"Not gonna happen. You have to leave." Alex said pointing to the front door.

"Why, we always hook up, what's changed?"

"My son is upstairs asleep and you just need to go."

Rachael moved closer to Alex standing only in her short skirt and bra. She reached up and put her arms around his neck, completely ignoring the fact that this was the first mention of a son.

"Come on babe, it's been so long, let me make it up to you." She said as she began to kiss his neck.

That was the sight that greeted Jo when she arrived at Alex's earlier than expected.

Alex pushed Rachael off him, Rachael turned around and looked at Jo, and Jo looked at the pair of them.

"Jo this is not what it looks like." Alex said.

"Well I'm up for anything do you want to join us?" Rachael asked Jo as she looked her up and down.

"Gee thanks, think I'll pass." Jo responded her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Rachael I really need you to go."

"Sure but when you're done with the domestics here, you have my number." She said, putting her shirt back on and walking out the front door.

"What the fuck Alex?" Jo asked as soon as she had left. "What if Thomas had walked in?"

"I know, I know it looks bad, but nothing was happening. Rachael and I we used to have a thing, on and off, she would just turn up sometimes and it's been a while..."

"Right, so you had regular women to service you while I was gone."

"Hey I never lied about that. I never said I was a saint. Unlike you I didn't live like a monk for four years." Alex responded.

"No. You just picked up women that had similar features to me. There is something not right about that Alex."

"Don't turn it into some psyche thing. Just take it as a compliment."

"A compliment! How does that work."

"That I really only wanted you, so if they looked similar I could pretend it was you."

"My God, will you listen to yourself. That is so wrong Alex, surely you can see that. You don't give yourself time to mourn or grieve, you just move on. You really have to get this stuff sorted out."

"And you need to stop thinking like a freaking psychiatrist every minute of the day."

"I can't stay here, please bring Thomas to day care in the morning as we had arranged."

"So that's it you're just going to walk out? Well I guess that is what you do. When it gets tough you walk."

Jo stopped in her tracks, if he wanted to hurt her anymore he couldn't have chosen anything else more damaging to her soul. She had regretted everyday that she left Alex four years ago. So for him to throw that up in her face was the cruelest thing he could have done.

Jo turned slowly around. She wasn't afraid of him but she was damned if she would let him see her cry. Nothing hurt quite like those few words.

"I was just going to go home and clear my head, but seeing as though you have that little faith in me then maybe we are done here."

"Over this! Over one mistake, a random woman turns up who resembles you and so now I have a psyche problem and need help."

"No maybe you need help Alex because you explode so quickly. You need anger management or you need to deal with your demons. But right now, I can't be around you. I trust you implicitly with Thomas, that won't change, but you and me..."

"Just go. I don't need this. I don't need you." Alex said as he walked up the stairs to take a shower.

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**A/N: Please don't hate me. I promise there is a point to all this! Please review!**


	11. Changes

**A/N: Thanks again so much for the kind reviews. I hope you like this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 11- Changes**

**Three Months Later**

Over the next three months, neither Alex nor Jo had apologised. They spoke to each other politely, talked about Thomas's care and split his time between their busy work schedules and their respective homes.

They avoided talking about the incident at the house, they avoided the fact that they had been sleeping together, they avoided, because that is what they both did. Neither of them thought they were in the wrong so neither of them was going to budge.

"You paged Ped's?" Alex directed at Jo rather than her boss who Alex was slowly but surely beginning to loathe.

"Yes, this is Billy Evans; he is 14 and suffers from Schizophrenia. He has stopped taking his medication and his mother brought him in when she found him locked in his bedroom and cutting himself with a razor blade."

"And, what is it you want from me?" Alex said slowly losing patience.

"I want you to admit him to Ped's. He needs five days to stabilise and he can go home, we don't think he should be in the Psyche ward."

"But he is a Psyche patient?"

"Alex stop being a dick..."

"Dr Wilson, you will not speak to a superior like that." Dr Hardy reprimanded.

"It's okay I can fight my own battles." Alex said glaring at Dr Hardy.

"Look whatever personal shit you pair have going on I really don't care about, but here at work, there is protocol a second year resident will not speak to an Attending and Head of a Department like that are we clear." Dr Hardy directed the last bit to Jo.

"Sorry." Jo said.

"I'm still not admitting him to my department. I have to think of the safety of the other kids up there. It's not safe. Sorry." Alex said as he turned on his heel.

"You tried Jo. I know he is your ex but I can't have you talking to him like that. I had to say something, not that I don't agree with you. He is a dick. Look it will be okay we will make sure Billy is well looked after. We will work something out. We can organise to put him as close to the nurses' station as we can and make sure he is safe."

"I just think Alex is doing this because of me. He is so angry with me that he will do whatever he can to make life hard for me."

"He is still being good with Thomas though?" Ryan asked.

"Oh of course. Alex might be a volcano ready to erupt at anytime but he loves Thomas and would protect him with his life. He has all the patience in the world with him. It's just me he has no patience with."

"I think we will let him cool off. I will give it a try. See if he will listen to me. You did your best. Surgeons are all the same, it's all about the cutting, they don't think about the patient holistically."

"True. I can't believe I used to be just like that."

"Well I for one am glad you left the dark side." Ryan said with a smile as he put his hand on Jo's shoulder and left.

Alex had made sure he wasn't seen but he heard the whole thing.

_Fucking Bastard, Doctor Do Gooder comes across like the hero and I look like an uncaring asshole. "They don't think of the patient holistically" What a lot of crap._

Alex went back to the Ped's ward seething, he needed to calm down; this was getting him absolutely no-where. He looked to the surgical board, Christina was in surgery but Meredith was just finishing up. He waited outside of the OR she was working in until she finished. He needed to vent and right now she was the only one around who would listen.

"Alex you have to admit him to Ped's." Meredith said.

"No. I. Don't. I am putting the needs of the other kids ahead of his here. What if he hurts one of them?"

"Seriously? You just don't want to admit you are wrong. You know that kid deserves to be on your ward. It isn't reserved for surgical patients only. I'm sure they can send a Psyche nurse to the ward as well."

"I know. I know. That guy he just pisses me off. I don't trust him. Something is off with him. What do we even know about him?"

"Who?" Christina asked joining them in Meredith's office.

"Dr Psyche." Meredith supplied.

"Oh you know they call him Dr George as in George Clooney because he looks like him. Why are we talking about him?"

"Because Alex is jealous." Meredith filled Christina in.

"I am not jealous, the guy is too smooth. Jo isn't stupid enough to fall for that. Besides he is about twenty years older than her." Alex huffed.

"No not jealous at all." Christina said with a laugh. As Alex shot her his best death stares.

"Oh Alex for God's sake, admit the kid to Ped's, show some faith in Jo and her opinion on the kid. Not only is it the right thing to do, you might just win some points with Jo for being reasonable. From there you can maybe apologise for your behaviour."

"I have nothing to apologise for, she walked out."

"After she found another woman's lips glued to your neck." Christina supplied.

"I explained all of that."

"Look Alex I don't have time for your drama's you wanted my advice I gave it. Suck it up, admit the kid, and be nice to Jo. If you want her back you might have to swallow your pride." Meredith said before pushing both of them out of her office.

When Alex got back to his ward, Dr Hardy was waiting for him.

"Look I know you have made up your mind, It's just Dr Wilson wanted me to try again, see if you would relent and allow Billy Evans to be admitted to your ward."

"Since when do Head of Departments do the bidding of second year residents?" Alex asked.

"Since Dr Wilson blames herself for you saying no. She can be very persuasive." Dr Hardy added for good measure. This achieved exactly what he wanted and it pissed Alex off more.

"Fine. You can move him here, but I want a Psyche nurse rostered on for the entire time he is here. My nursing staff is not trained to deal with his condition."

"Thank you Dr Karev. I will have Billy transferred here shortly."

Over the next five days, everything went according to the plan Jo had mapped out for Billy Evans, she saw him twice a day and had his medication altered slightly and encouraged him to take it every day. Once the medication had its effect, Billy moved around the ward without incident, which just proved again what an asshole Alex had been in not listening to Jo's judgement.

"You have done the hard work, Billy, so please stay on your meds and if the voices get to loud you call me or Dr Ryan okay." Jo said as she was filling out the discharge paperwork.

"Thank you Dr Jo you really helped me."

"You are welcome. Take care." Jo said as Billy left with his mother.

Jo was finishing up some notes on the computer when Alex approached her.

"You did good work." Alex said.

"Go to hell Alex." Jo said walking away from him.

"What? I complimented you."

"You didn't want to trust my judgement five days ago. Ryan had to convince you."

"Ryan... So it's not Dr Hardy."

"We are friends Alex. Friends call each other by their first names. We used to when we worked together."

"Is that how it is with him? The way it was with us?"

"What are you really asking Alex? Because who I see is my business not yours, just as whatever skank of the week you are sleeping with is your business and none of mine." Jo whispered harshly.

"Fine. Have it your way. I'll pick Thomas up tomorrow around four pm for Bailey's birthday party."

"I will make sure he is ready."

Alex arrived to pick Thomas up for Bailey's fifth birthday party and then he would be sleeping the night at Alex's house. Jo answered the door dressed in an old pair of Levi's and a plain white fitted t-shirt that just met the top of her jeans. Even in her around the house clothes she looked beautiful.

"Hey" Alex acknowledged.

"Come in." Jo replied opening the door to let him in.

Alex stopped in his tracks as he saw Thomas sitting on the floor doing a Jig-saw puzzle with Doctor Do Gooder.

'Hi Daddy!" Thomas said as he got up and ran into his father's arms.

"Hi Tommy, you ready to go?" He asked.

"Yep, mommy helped me wrap present for Bailey. It's a Robot."

"I'm sure he will love it."

Thomas ran into his room to get his backpack with a few things in it as he had plenty of things in his room at his father's house.

Ryan got up from his sitting position on the floor and made to shake Alex's hand, Alex was saved from doing this as Thomas came running back in.

"Have fun sweetheart." Jo said as she kissed him goodbye.

"Bye mommy, bye Dock-or Ryan."

"I will pick him up around ten tomorrow morning if that is okay." Jo said.

"Sure, whatever suits?"

"I'm studying tonight. I have exams next week." Jo stated. She didn't know why but she felt like she should explain why Ryan was here she didn't want Alex to get the wrong idea. It shouldn't bother her, but it did. As annoying and as volatile as Alex was she loved him and it DID matter what he thought about her. That's why she had been so angry with him all week. He didn't trust her, he didn't think she made decisions that were smart, and he didn't think she was capable. That was Jo's interpretation of Alex's behaviour.

"Like you said, it's none of my business. As long as it doesn't affect Thomas than I have no right to question who you spend time with." Alex said. Of course he didn't mean a word of it. Yes it affected him. He was jealous and wanted Jo to be with him not Doctor Do-Gooder."

Once Alex and Thomas were in the car they talked all the way over to the Shepherds for the party.

"Do you think Sophia will be there daddy?"

"Yeah, she should be." Alex said smiling to himself. His son had quite the crush on five year old Sophia Torres. _ Sophia doesn't know your alive Tommy first of many heartbreaks kid, better get used to it._

"Do you have a girlfriend Daddy?" Thomas asked.

"What? Ah No why?" A shocked Alex asked.

"Just wondering. I think Dock-or Ryan is mommy's boyfriend." Thomas added.

"Oh. Why do you say that?" Alex asked trying to sound casual. Was it terrible to interrogate your kid about what is mother has been up to?

"He came over in morning to take us for picnic in park, and he bought me a new puzzle and played on the swings with me. He is helping mommy."

_Of course he fucking did! Mr Perfect. _"Do you like him?" Alex asked cringing.

"He is okay. I wish you were mommy's boyfriend."

Alex just smiled as he pulled into the Shepherds driveway. _So do I Thomas._

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. Your reviews are always welcome.**


	12. Festive Season

**A/N: I am on holidays at the moment so have had a bit of spare time to write. Please don't get used to it I go back to work on Monday. I hope you enjoy this chapter I am definitely going somewhere so please hang in there.**

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**Chapter 12 – Festive Season**

"Alex, have you got a minute?" Jo asked as they both left the day care centre.

"Sure, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you could have Thomas on Saturday the 14th overnight?"

"No sorry, that's the Attending's Christmas party."

"Oh, yeah I know. Ryan asked me to go with him and I know you used to try and avoid those things at all costs. I assumed you wouldn't be going." Jo said trying to gauge Alex's reaction to her going with Ryan.

"Yeah I still hate going, but now I'm the Head of a Department it is expected I go. Sorry." He added not really meaning it. The thought of Jo dressed up at the party with someone else made his stomach churn.

"Oh yeah of course. Would you be okay with me hiring a babysitter for the evening from an agency?"

"Umm yeah I guess so." Alex stammered. He was really surprised that Jo would want to go at all to this party. Maybe what Thomas said was true. Maybe Jo really had moved on and had a new boyfriend. _Doctor Fucking Do Gooder!_

"Well alright then I will set that up. Thanks."

Alex sat in the Attending's lounge staring into space. He was lost in a million thoughts. He couldn't avoid the party he tried that last year and had his ass kicked from the entire board and they were his friends. He couldn't not go, but fucked if he would sit there and watch Jo and her new boyfriend looking at each other.

"What's wrong with you?" Jackson asked as he walked in.

"The Christmas Party, I really don't want to go."

"You say that every year. I know they aren't your thing." Jackson sympathized.

"No, don't suppose you would give me an out would you? " Alex asked hopefully.

"Not after last year's debacle. NO. If I have to go so do you."

"Why don't you want to go?"

"Do you seriously think I like going and seeing April and Matthew so fucking happy. See her dancing with him, smiling and flirting?"

"Dude, sorry I didn't know you still had a thing for Kepner."

"Yeah well, it never works out with anyone else because I compare them to April. It's fucked up I know but it is what it is."

"Well why don't we both not go? We could just go to a bar and drink."

"Because I am Head of the Board and it is poor form if I can't show up. And if I have to go so do you. Why don't you want to go so badly this year?"

"Jo."

"That's it. You're giving me one word, after I spill my guts to you."

"She is seeing her boss. They are always together here at work, he is often at her apartment when I pick Thomas up, and it drives me insane. He has even resorted to winning Tommy over by buying him stuff. I can't believe she can't see through his manipulating ways. He tries to frame me as the bad guy and he as the shining light."

"Okay didn't expect that much, but safe to say you do not want Ryan Hardy with Jo and you want Jo back."

"Any wonder you run a hospital, you are so smart." Alex said sarcastically.

"Hey it's not my fault you won't man up and apologise and try to win her back. If you love her and want your family back you have two choices. Fight or Flight."

"What?"

"You fight for her or you run. You do whatever it takes to get her back or you get over it, suck it up and get on with life the way things are. Two choices man. Your call."

"I could say the same to you."

"Nah that ship sailed. April is married, I had my chance and I blew it. Don't make the same mistake. That's my only advice for what it's worth." Jackson said as he made his way out of the Attending's lounge and left for the day.

Jo had hired a Nanny for the evening and was getting ready to go to the Christmas party. She had bought herself a new dress. A jade green gown, it was fitted and was completely backless. She wore her hair up and the only jewelry she wore was some silver hoop earrings and a silver bracelet.

Alex had a plan; he would stay at the function centre, for as long as he could then he would fake an emergency and leave. Failing that, he would speak to who he had to at the beginning of the night, then spend the rest of the night at the bar. Christina was going alone; he could always count on her.

Alex saw Jo nearly as soon as he walked in. She was hard to miss. She looked breathtaking. Jo was standing drinking Champagne talking to some people, God knows who, while Ryan had his hand resting on the small of Jo's back. Her dress had no back in it, so he was touching her skin. That sight alone was enough to make Alex abandon his original plan and just head straight for the closest bar stool.

Many hours later, and many drinks later Alex needed a bathroom break. On his way he saw Jo in Ryan's arms dancing close, far too close for just friends. He then locked eyes with Doctor Do Gooder and stood helplessly by while Alex watched in agony at Ryan placing his lips on Jo's. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was more than a friendly kiss. From where Alex could see Jo drew away first but she said something to him and lightly caressed the side of his face. Alex had seen enough and made his way to the bathroom. He did what he needed to and was washing his hands when Doctor Hardy walked in.

"Having a good time Doctor Karev?" Ryan asked with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Move out of my way." Alex replied.

"You make it so easy." Ryan laughed.

"What did you say asshole?"

"I said you make it easy. You behave like a territorial animal around Jo. Smart, educated women like that don't really go for that type of guy. She is far too evolved for your Neanderthal ways. Making her fall in love with me is proving quite simple as my competition only seems to want to fight with her. Like I said you make it easy."

"You know what asshole. " Alex said as he got closer to Ryan. "Jo has had it tough, so yeah she knows how to spot an asshole a mile away. Granted you're a different type of asshole to what she is used too. But she will see it. You are manipulating her and making her believe you are a good guy, when all you want to do is no better than the rest of the scum bags she has known."

"Does that include you?" Ryan asked still smug.

"I'm the first to admit I haven't always treated Jo well, but I have never manipulated or used her in anyway. I don't think you can say the same." Alex said as he left the men's room and returned to the bar to drink.

Christina joined Alex at the bar.

"Can we leave yet?" She asked.

"No, it's only ten. I told Jackson I would stay til midnight."

"Why is that? Is that when this bar maid finishes work?" Alex just shot her an evil eye. "I've been watching you sit here talking to her proceeding to get drunk. I know your play book remember."

"Hey you." Christina called to said bar maid. "Shakira is it; see I am going to do you a favour. You are going to cut my friend here off and give him no more to drink. Because you see if you don't, he will end up taking you home, fucking you, promising to call you and then he won't. You will eat a tub of ice cream crying to your friends about what a big mistake you made sleeping with the Doctor who saves sick kids. It is his standard pick up line. So save yourself now."

"Christina!" Alex said. Christina glared at him. "Alright, sorry Shakira cut me off. I will do what Christina said. I'm getting to old to feel like shit the next day. No offence, I'm sure you're a great chick and everything but see it's this woman and..."

"Alex. Stop now. Don't embarrass yourself further."Christina said seriously.

"Hey Alex." Shakira said. "Thanks, I like older guys, and I could fall for you so thanks for bailing on me and not breaking my heart." She finished with a wink and a smile.

"Sure. I am regular heart breaker" He said as he ordered one more drink. "Just one more." He said as Shakira sighed and pored him one more whisky.

Jackson joined them at the bar. The three of them sat in silence. When all three finished their last drinks they all left together. Jackson couldn't stand it anymore; he would deal with leaving early tomorrow. If he left now he wouldn't have to see April in Matt's arms any longer. He could hardly expect Alex and Christina to stay if he was going to leave.

"Come on guys, how about we go to Joes?" Jackson asked.

"Thank God." Christina was up and out of her seat before Jackson finished.

"Great. I can keep drinking there. No women at Joe's." Alex chimed in.

Jo, Owen and April watched the unlikely trio leave together. They were probably going to go to another bar where they weren't face to face with their ex's and their new partners.

Jo's heart ached. She hated seeing Alex in pain and she knew she was partly responsible. She should never have agreed to come to the party with Ryan. She thought of Ryan as her friend and her boss and her mentor but he had made it quite clear tonight that he had more on his mind. She tried to put him straight.

"Ryan, I am flattered I really am but I just don't feel that way about you. I don't want to jeopardise our working relationship and our friendship."

His words worried her a little; it was as if he hadn't heard what she said.

"Shhh" He said as he placed his fingers on her lips after their brief kiss. "I will wait until you're ready. I want you Jo and I will make you see we are meant for each other."

All Jo could think about was running into the safety of Alex's arms. _God Alex what have I done? Why didn't I go back and fight for you. After everything we have been through this is what I have done._

_Tomorrow – I will sort everything out with Alex tomorrow._

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed and please review**


	13. Santa Baby

**A/N: So this is the next installment of It will never be over. I hope you all like it. Thanks again for the fantastic reviews and I am so glad you like it. I am going back to work Monday so I will be going back to updating once a week. This is my longest chapter to date!**

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**Chapter 13 –Santa Baby**

Alex, Jackson and Christina were hung over. It was approximately midday and the three of them were nursing headaches, taken pain killers and were just about at the stage of drinking lots of water to make them feel better. None of them were quite ready for food.

The doorbell rang and the three of them groaned. "It's your house." Christina said looking at Alex. He sighed and managed to get himself off the sofa to answer the door.

_Fuck – I can't let my kid see me like this._

Alex plastered a fake smile on his face as he opened the door. Jo mouthed an "I'm sorry" as she knew a hangover when she seen one.

"Hey daddy, daddy guess where we going?" Thomas exclaimed excitedly.

"Where?" Alex said trying to muster the same excitement his son had and picked him up to give him a hug, hoping he didn't reek of alcohol.

"I'm getting my photo taken with Santa. He is at the mall."

"What now?" Alex asked knowing what was coming next and wondering how his head and stomach would cope with a mall full of Christmas shoppers and screaming kids.

"I'm so sorry Alex. I totally forgot that I had promised Thomas we were going today. I meant to tell you about it because we would like you to come with us."

"Say yes daddy." Thomas pleaded.

"You bet. I wouldn't want to miss that. Can you just give me twenty minutes to have a shower and get changed?" He said to both Jo and Thomas.

"Oh Dad." Thomas whined.

"Of course you can Alex. Don't be rude Tommy. Santa isn't going anywhere. "Jo reprimanded.

"Thank you. Hey Thomas go in the living room and say hi to Chris and Jax."

Thomas bounded into the living room to annoy his father's friends. Alex thought it was amusing as he heard Tommy asking why they looked sick and why they were laying around on the sofas.

"Alex, I am sorry about this."

""It's fine." He said, his head throbbing and having Jo still looking so amazing just made him feel worse.

"Um later I really need to talk to you. It's kinda important." Jo said, with an uncomfortable tone in her voice.

"Yeah, I think I got it. Look its fine. Let me have a shower, and clean up, we will go get this photo thing done and then we can talk tomorrow. I don't think I'm up for a talk today."

"Sure. You go. I'll wait in here." Jo said feeling a little dejected. She had to make him understand. She had too. God knows Alex wasn't perfect but he was perfect for her.

Jo drove to the Mall, as Thomas spoke excitedly from his car seat in the back. The silence between Alex and Jo was palpable.

Alex was determined last night to fight not run, but today feeling hung over and seeing his gorgeous ex still looking beautiful he was beginning to let his insecurities creep in. Maybe Jo would be better off with someone else. But when he thought about that someone else he clenched his fists as the thought of Dr Do Gooder kissing her again brought out every jealous bone in his body to the surface.

Sure he had felt protective of other women in his life over time. He would do anything for Christina, Meredith he even considered Arizona Robbins someone important to him and would defend her against just about anyone. They were his family.

He had cared and been protective of Ava, but that ended in disaster, he had even thought he loved Izzie, been resentful and devastatingly hurt of her choosing Denny, and O'Malley. He had let Addison go without a fight because he believed she would be better off without him. But Jo she was different. She was the ONE. The one he couldn't get over. He had been an idiot and Jackson made him see the light. He did have two choices. He was going to choose to fight.

The line for a photo with "Santa" was long. "Santa's helpers" were letting people know the wait time was nearly an hour at the part of the line Thomas was at. As all three year olds, he was going to get inpatient very quickly.

Alex was pre-occupied and Jo was thinking about how she could tell Alex that she was beginning to feel uneasy around Ryan. He had really freaked her out last night and she had good radar for this type of thing and needed to tell Alex.

"Look Alex I know now isn't the best time it's just last night..."

"Jo I said not today. I can't deal with that too."Alex said with a sharp tone in his voice, which got Jo's back up.

"You don't even know what I am going to say." She returned with the same tone.

"I got a pretty good idea. Look I saw you Jo. I saw you K.I.S.S.I.N.G Hardy." Alex said his voice rising again. Alex spelt the word kissing as he didn't think Thomas needed to hear that.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, I didn't...I don't want..." Jo replied.

"STOP FIGHTING!" Thomas yelled at both of them before he reefed his hand out of his fathers and ran away.

Jo and Alex both froze for about 10 seconds, before it registered what had happened.

"Thomas" Alex called out as he was the first one to spring into action. As full as the mall was, Alex never lost sight of his son. Jo followed running as fast as she could to catch Alex, she kept apologising to people as she knocked them.

"Thomas stop!" Alex kept calling. Thomas was so angry; all he wanted was for his mommy and daddy to get along. He had been so happy to have a daddy finally and this was his first year to have both parents with him while he visited Santa. He was not going to stop running.

A full fifteen minutes later Alex and Jo had finally caught up with their runaway child. Jo was on her knees grabbing Thomas by his shoulders.

"Thomas, what were you thinking? You don't EVER run away from us, is that clear. Anyone could have taken you. Do you understand?" Jo was yelling and screaming and crying.

As all the onlookers stared, thinking they may need to call Child services. Alex understood she was panicked but this was not helping.

"Jo. You have to calm down. This is not helping." Alex said in his best Doctors voice. He had switched into Pediatric mode and was talking to Jo like a parent of a patient, not as the mother of his son.

"No! Thomas you don't ever runaway, there are a lot of bad people in the world..."

"That is enough Jo? Do you want to scare him more? He is three years old, he doesn't understand." Alex said as he released Jo's grip on Thomas's shoulders and picked up the crying child.

Jo nodded her head. She realised her reaction was wrong but her heart was racing. If she lost Thomas her life would be over. She would never forgive herself. Her relief that he was fine was so overwhelming she didn't know what to do other than cry.

Alex held Thomas on his hip as his arm went around Jo and led them to a seat nearby.

"Jo do you have Thomas's Ventolin in your handbag?" Alex asked calmly.

"Yes" she muttered as she fished it out of her bag and handed it to Alex.

"Hey buddy, I know you are scared, but I need you to just take one puff of your Ventolin okay. Just to make sure you don't have an asthma attack. Can you do that for me?"

Thomas just nodded his head as Alex put the mask over his face and pushed the button to release a dosage of Ventolin to help him breathe. After a few minutes, Thomas's breathing returned to normal. He had laboured breathing from running so fast, and Alex thought it best to act know rather than take the risk of him having a full blown asthma attack especially after his mother yelled at him.

"I want go home to daddy's." Thomas finally said. Jo felt her heart break in two. Her son was making it very clear he wanted to be in his father's care and not hers.

"Why don't we all go back to my place? We can come back tomorrow for a Santa photo. Look tell you what, how about I call Arizona and see if I can get the day off tomorrow. Maybe Mommy can call Dr Ryan and she can get the day off too. Then we can all come back tomorrow and maybe go and see a movie too. I think Polar Express is on. It's pretty cool." Alex said, trying to make things better. He could not stand to see the pain on Jo's face.

"Okay, but mommy can go home. I just stay with you." Thomas said refusing to look at his mother.

"Oh Baby boy I am so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. You just don't know how much I love you."

Thomas still refused to look at his mother.

"Thomas let's go home okay and we will work everything out." Alex said giving Jo a sympathetic look. He took the car keys out of her shaking hands so he could drive home.

They arrived home and Christina and Jackson were gone. The three of them sat together and Alex drove the conversation. He explained to Thomas that it is only because mommy loves him so much that she was angry. She wasn't really angry with him she was just scared.

"Tommy you have to understand that adults get scared too. And when we get scared we sometimes cry and say things we shouldn't."

Jo hung her head in shame. She was the Psyche Resident she should know this stuff. But it is her rough around the edges, no emotions ex who is handling the situation so much better than anyone else could have.

Thomas finally acknowledged that he loved his mommy and was yawning. Alex took him up to his room so he could have a sleep.

On Alex's return, Jo took him in her arms.

"Thank you. I don't know how you kept so calm."

When Alex didn't reply she could feel him shaking and felt his tears as they hit her shirt.

"My turn to crack, the crisis is over." He muffled into her neck. "Fuck Jo I don't know what would have happened if someone took him. I just..."

"They didn't. You never lost sight of him. He was always going to be safe. You were always going to get him back for us."

Alex pulled away from her and wiped his tears.

"Do you want a drink? I sure need one." Alex said.

"No Alex." She said grabbing his hand as he turned from her. "I need you to hold me."

Alex returned and they held onto each other like their life depended on it. They stood like that for what felt like hours but it was probably only five minutes. Jo pulled back and placed her hands on either side of his face and pressed her lips to his.

Alex was unsure how to respond, was this real or was it just desperation from the day's events. Jo didn't let go and coaxed his mouth open. He responded briefly before he pulled away.

"Jo? What are you doing?" He said huskily.

"I need you Alex, please." She pleaded with her eyes as she stood on her toes and kissed him again. She sucked on his bottom lip which after a few moments he opened. His mouth moved as he now began to really respond to her kiss his tongue slid into her mouth slowly. Savouring the moment, Jo responded by lightly sucking on his tongue as an involuntary groan escaped his mouth and into hers. He pulled her flush against his body and wrapped his arms around her.

He moved his mouth from hers and placed it on her neck. "Feel what you do to me?" He asked as he moved his hips into hers. Jo could feel his erection pushing into her thigh. God she wanted him so desperately.

"Mmm, you move your hand between my legs and you will feel what you do to me."

Alex just moaned at the thought of touching her there, feeling that she was ready for him. Just as he was about to move his hand down and feel between her denim clad legs he pulled away once more.

"What about Hardy?"

"I don't want him Alex it has always been you. Surely you know that." She replied whilst running her hands along his shoulders and down his biceps.

"How would I know...?" He didn't bother to finish that sentence as he watched her hands travel up under his shirt. She knew just how to touch him, just how he liked it. His lips crashed back down on hers. It was an urgent and hungry kiss. He wanted this, after the day they had. He needed this too. His eyes snapped open and pulled away.

"One more time Jo. I don't want this to come back and bite me. We had a big scare today sleeping together, wouldn't it be a mistake?"

"No! It's the only thing that makes sense. God Alex when did you get so sensitive?" Jo smiled and run her hands back down his chest and lower, towards the top of his jeans.

"I'm not. I just don't want to be accused of taking advantage."

"I would never do that. Besides I am the one begging you to touch me. I want you. God I want you. We both need this baby, tell me you don't."

"Of course I do." He replied huskily. "Last chance because if I kiss you again now, I won't be able to stop."

"Good. I don't want you to stop. Ever." Jo whispered into his ear.

"I need to get you out of these clothes. I want you so much baby." Alex said as he rocked his hips back into her.

He pushed his hands through her hair before taking her hand and leading them upstairs. They needed each other naked. They needed to feel each other. They needed to be loved by one another in the way that only they had with each other and no one else. The rest well that could be worked out later.

**A/N: I hoped you liked this chapter. Please be kind and review.**


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